UPJOKE

College Roommate Jokes

My pot smoking college roommate decided to choose Theology as his major.

He’s now a high priest.

My college roommate got a pet parrot. That damn thing won’t ever shut up.

The parrot is cool though.

My college roommate had this weird habit of yelling at his drugs before he consumed them.

It wasn’t nice… to witness substance abuse.

My college roommate was a dyslexic, insomniac, agnostic...

He’d stay awake all night wondering if there was a dog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Lovely Tale of Opposite-Sex College Roommates

A guy and a girl are college roommates. No feelings at all. One day, the girl goes to a frat party and brings home the notoriously bi frat dude. She f*cks him, and then the next morning, tells him she has feelings for her roommate and so the two of them won't work out. The frat dude, just happy he g...

My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.

I wonder what he is up to now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two College Roommates

Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "L...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Couple Owns the Only Florist Shop in a Small Town

Being a small town, they obviously have 100% of the business. One day, a group of friars opens up a competing shop on the other side of town. The couple aren't too worried though, as they make a comfortable living as is.

A month goes by though and the friars prices are so competitive that the...

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