UPJOKE

Church Picnic Jokes

Why can't I take pickle-flavored breads to the church picnic?

Because it's made from dill doughs!

A genetic botanist doesn't show up to the church picnic.

Her concerned husband finds her in her lab working feverishly on a new pesticide resistant strain of maize.

"Aren't you coming to the congregation picnic?". He asks.

"Screw them and their impossible deadlines! They told me I have until today to get the corn bred!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man buys a heavily discounted parrot from a pet store. As he's walking down the street, the parrot squawks obscenities at passersby.

Eventually, the man runs into the priest of his church.

"Good afternoon my son," said the priest. "And who might your feathered friend be?"

"FUCK YOU!" squawks the parrot.

"I'm terribly sorry," said the man, "I fully intend to break him of this obscene habit. I'll even teach him...

A man constantly annoys his wife by.....

...referring to her as "Mother of 5" in social situations. Whenever he introduces her or when they are leaving a party, as in "ok, "Mother of 5" time to go home"...one day she has had enough and when he called this out at the end of the church picnic she yelled back "Ok let me get my purse and we'll...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

The bartender looks at him and says "Jim! You have two black eyes!"

"Yup," says Jim.

"What happened?" asked the bartender.

"Well, you see I was at the church picnic. I was in line behind Mrs. Dunmore, and I happened to see that her skirt was wedged up into her buttcrack. Being ...

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