UPJOKE

Choke Me Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife tried to choke me during sex

Then she went after my girlfriend

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was on shift at Popeye's when a woman approached my cash register and whispered in a very sexy raspy voice,"I want you to choke me."

I was locked in her lustful gaze and I replied...

"biscuits with no drink then?"

My girlfriend said "choke me daddy".

On my way to the her funeral right now.

If a vegetable wrote an erotic asphyxiation help guide, what would it be titled?

Idk if this joke works. I’m workshopping it

If a vegetable wrote an erotic asphyxiation help guide, what would it be titled?

“Art of choke me”

What did the kinky lawnmower say to get turned on?

Choke me daddy

My girlfriend died and I had to break the news to everyone.

The most difficult person to tell was my former best friend, because every time I mention his mother he tries to choke me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Day 299 without having sex

I ate two Popeyes biscuits without water so it could choke me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes in the "Day XXX withouth sex: joke" format

Can I get some contributions to this format that is so dear to my heart? :(

My two personal favorites:



Day 37 without sex: my dentist told me to spit . . . I swallowed.



Day 150 without sex: I slammed the brakes so the seatbelt would choke me a little.

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