UPJOKE

Chinese Doctor Jokes

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While in China, an American man is very promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days ...

A Chinese doctor opens his new clinic.

A Chinese doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense o...

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A Chinese doctor has a Jewish patient.

"Listen," says the patient, "I didn't think we were going to get along so good together."

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean! Pearl Harbor, that's what I mean!"

"What are you talking about, Pearl Harbor? I'm Chinese!"

"Yeah, well...Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same th...

Chinese doctors published their findings on the corona outbreak...

It’s gone viral

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A woman sees her Chinese doctor...

A woman sees her Chinese love doctor, Dr. Chen, after she hasn't been able to find a date for over two years.

The woman says, "Dr. Chen, I'm desparate. I can't find a date for the life of me! Can you check if there is anything wrong with me?"

Dr. Chen replies in his thick Chinese acce...

Mongolian VD

A man goes to the doctor and says "I just got back from South-East Asia and I seem to have picked up something". So the doctor says "let's take a look" and the patient drops trou and his pride and joy has turned a sickly green with vibrant purple spots on.

"Oh my," says the doctor, "up to now...

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Szechuan STD

Guy goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I've been having a bit of trouble urinating and it's getting sore, more sore every day."

Doctor told him to undress and lie on the bench. So he did, and the doctor came back, examined him and shook his head. "You been to China recently?"

"Well, y...

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A woman complained to a co-worker that she hadn't been on a date in a very long time. The co-worker mentioned that a Chinese doctor had recently opened a clinic and she should try him out.

She made an appointment and the doctor asked her what her problem was. "Nobody ever asks me out on a date"

The doctor told her to undress completely and get down on all fours.

"Now crawr away from me rearry fass."

So she crawled across the room away from him really fast. and tur...

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Western v Eastern medicine

A GI had caught a venereal disease while serving in overseas. His had become infected, red, and smelly.
The GI went to a doctor and he told him that amputation is the only option to cure it. Disillusioned the GI had a second opinion and was told again that amputation was the only option. <...

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Honk Kong Dong

Bill had just returned home from a sales convention in Hong Kong. He spent his days at the convention and his nights in the Red Light district, and was now suffering from a painful and inflamed . He hurried to the doctor, who diagnosed it as the Hong Kong Dong and told Bill he would have to hav...

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A man gets home from trip in Thailand...

and realizes his became green and it hurts badly when he touches it. So he goes to consult a doctor.
Doctor: "Hm, yeah, that's a severe illness you got there. The only way to deal with this is amputation."
The man freaks out, screaming an cursing the doctor for suggesting the unspeakabl...

Ed Zachary Disease

My dad laid this one on me yesterday.

Chinese Doctor: It looks like you have Ed Zachary Disease.

Patient: What does that mean doctor?

Chinese Doctor: It means your face looks Ed Zachary like your , haha

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Chinese prostitute

A guy went to China and while there he met a very exotic woman who he ended up having with him. While it was the best he ever had, his started itching and then started to swell. When he got back to the States, he went to his urologist. By then it was turning purple black and was very ...

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A guy goes to China on a business trip.

While he’s there he bangs a bunch of Chinese hookers. By the time he arrives home in the U.S., his is covered in sores, swollen and hurts like hell. Guys goes to the doctor and the doc says “looks like you’ve got a pretty bad case of Hong Kong dong. We can get ya better but it’s gonna cost $3,0...

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A man goes to the doctor....

He whips it out and says "doc, look at this". His is striped with every color of the rainbow.

Doc: "Yep, seen that before. Nothing we can do but amputate."

Man: "Screw you doc!" and runs out.

The man sees every doctor in town, but they all take one look and say the same ...

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Ed Zachary Disease

A woman couldn’t get a date and went to a doctor. He couldn’t find anything wrong with her, so he sent her to another. She ended up going to several before one of them sent her to a Chinese doctor who was known to be able to diagnose anything.

When she went in, she explained that she was sing...

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