Cheer Me Up Jokes

He keeps saying "Cheer up, man! It could be worse! You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

I know he means well.

We sit and talk about things for awhile, but he's normally pretty awkward when conversation gets personal. Eventually, he gets up and walks to the other side of the room.

He grabs a bottle of scotch that I've been saving for a special occasion, so I ask him, "what are you doing? I don't thin... read more

you could say she's the perfect auntie-dote to my misery

"You have perfect eyesight"

But three songs in I still wasn't feeling Eddie Vedder

A cat walks into a bar and sees an empty counter. He saunters up to the bartender and asks for a shot of whiskey.

The bartender looks at the cat and says, "Rough day, huh? Maybe you should try chasing a laser pointer. That always seems to cheer me up."

The cat glances at the bartender ... read more

She walks past her husband reading the newspaper on the couch, and says, "I just looked at myself in the mirror and I look ugly as hell. How about a nice compliment to cheer me up?"


The husband takes one glance at his wife and replies, "Your eyesight is spot-on."

I used to be a carcinologist that specialised in lobsters. I loved what I did, but I couldn't even get out of the house on my own after the accident, much less go to work. I fell into a deep depression.


My scientist friends wanted to cheer me up, and so they engineered a robot lobster tha... read more

I was having a bad day one week so I decided to try something at my college. I stood in the middle of campus and held up a sign that read "hug me" in hopes that maybe somebody would come around and cheer me up. I waited for 10-20 minutes and then people started walking up. I got so many hugs and it... read more

I mean... Ι appreciate that my friends are doing their best to cheer me up after my diagnosis, but I’ve heard so many cancer jokes today, that if I get to hear just tumor I’ll really get mad.

Son: Aw. Don't be. They always cheer me up and that's what matters.

Dad: Well there was a pun competition recently. I submitted ten of my best puns to try and qualify. The results were so disappointing.

Son: I'm proud of you no matter what. But I'm curious. How many made it?

D... read more

Thibodaux walks up to Boudreaux and says, "Boudreaux, I've got some good news and some bad news; which do you want to hear first?" Ol Boudreaux replies, "Told me the bad news, den the good news cheer me up!" "Well git holt of yourself; we found your wife, dead, floating down the bayou."

"Oh ... read more

"Doc, I think I might be depressed. It started a few days ago, I woke up feeling great, flipped on the TV to relax before heading in to work. As I watched the news I just got more and more fatigued, I was almost completely limp by the time I left for work. When I hopped into the car, I turned on ... read more