UPJOKE

Change My Mind Jokes

You can't argue with dumb people, change my mind

You can't argue with dumb people, change my mind

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful women is standing on a bridge!!

A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off.

A homeless man walks up to her.

She sees the man coming and says, "Go away! There's nothing you can say to change my mind!"

He says, "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, w...

A politician running for office was asked about his policy on liquor.

He answered, “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the body, ruins the mind, destroys the family, and creates criminals, then I’m against it!

But if you mean the beautiful drink used for a wedding toast, the foundation of a fun Friday night and the biggest source of tax revenue to fund ne...

In getting tired of the jehovah witnesses.

They keep knocking on the door, trying to make me change my mind

"Please let us out!", "We won't bother you again!", "Have mercy!"

Tomorrow I am having a brain transplant

Change my mind

A surgeon told me I was in grave need of a brain transplant.

I refused, telling her she wouldn’t change my mind.

A woman is being interviewed for jury selection

She says to the judge, “I can’t be on the jury since I don’t believe in capital punishment.”

The judge replies, “Don’t worry, ma’am. This case is about a man who promised his wife an expensive necklace for their anniversary but blew all the money playing roulette.”

“Oh, in that case,” ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated.

The doctor is very surprised at this. “Are you sure?!”

“Yes,” said the man. “I’ve thought about it, long and hard, and I’ve decided I want to do it.”

“But are you sure you’ve thought this through?!” the doctor continued. “This will have a huge impact on important aspects of your life i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Doc..." says Steve. "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for!?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done." replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor. "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of t...

Before & after marriage...

Before marriage:

He: “Great! I can’t wait for that day!”

She: “May I change my mind? “

He: “No! Don’t even think about that!”

She: “Do you love me?”

He: “Of course!”

She: “Will you cheat on me??”

He: “No! Where does that thought come from?”

Sh...

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