Change A Lightbulb Jokes

None. Trump says it’s changed and his supporters all cheer in the dark.

They dont, they just keep talking about how great the old one was

None. They no longer make that socket, you just buy a new house.

Tell him Obama put it in

None.

They’ll all resist change even if it means making the world a brighter place.

I don't know, like one, three, five? Whatever, I just can't even...

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It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research.

Two.

One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

Honestly, it's a pretty obscure number. I doubt you've ever heard of it.

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ... read more

None, because they can't climb the ladder.

*Edit: Wasn't my joke, it was a friends but I can't credit him since I don't know his account name*

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

Edit: Wow front page. Didn't expect this big a response.

Depends on how clumsy you are.

*There, I've killed it. Move on /r/jokes, move on.*

None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.

Only one:


Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.

Look, we can change the lightbulb. That I will tell you. We're changing it, ok? And I understand what you're saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say "Is the lightbulb really dead?". Thats what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The lightbulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. ... read more

Just one, but they'll be more than 20 sessions to find that the lightbulb doesn't need to change.

Let's go ride our bikes.

Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Eight, if you want to screw it completely.

I have no idea because every time I ask they all argue about unnecessary change

We wouldn’t know, the women always get to keep the house.

Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.

Find out next time ... On Dragon Ball Z!

All of them. Even though It's already changed hundreds of times before.

5, one to fill the paperwork, one to go on strike, and two to complain how it should’ve been changed last week

Change? How dare you, sir! That lightbulb has been in my family for seven generations!

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement. Whereas the party of the first part, who will be henceforth be addressed as 'the lawyers' and the party of the second part, henceforth addressed as 'th... read more

One, unless they need help - in which case it's still one.

Zero, because they don't deal with hardware issues.

4 years

They have to wait until election season before they can get anything done.

None. Capitalists are not _needed_ for anything. They just tagged along to ask for lighting subsidies

Three.
One to do it,
One to film it,
and one more to say...
"damn that was sick man!"

Calm down, I’ll tell you. But first, a word from our sponsor, Raid: Shadow Legends!

Five; one to actually change the lightbulb and four to stand around watching saying "I could do it better than him."

The lightbulb is beautiful the way it is. Society needs to change and learn to accept and stop shaming lightbulbs that don’t conform to its standards.

They don't change it. They follow the burnt-out bulb on tour for the next 50 years.

14,000.

1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.