Cat Died Jokes

In heaven they faced God,who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German shepherd said "i believe in discipline, loyalty and training to my master".
"Good" said God. "You may sit on my right side".
The Doberman said "I believe in love,care and protection of my master".
"Aha,you may ... read more

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.”

The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors… I would like a... read more

It was catastrophic.

A guy goes on a trip abroad and has his best friend stay with his mom to help with her and cat-sit his cat. A couple days go by and he calls his friend and asks how his cat is and he replies "Sorry, but your cat was run over and died."
"Why would you break it to me like that? I need to be prep... read more

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blun... read more

A little girl's cat died. She loved the cat very much, and so when it died, she was devastated beyond belief. Her mother and her take the cat to the backyard so they could have a funeral for it. The little girl is in tears as they bury her cat.



"Don't worry, sweetie," says the mom in... read more

...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat.

Mom called her son every day to see how everything is going at home.

Her son explains "Hi Mom, mostly fine here - but the cat died on Monday."

Mom was distraught: "How can you break news like this to me so nonchalantly!? Are you a psychopath??"

The son replies "I'm sorry Mom, I ... read more

"Your favorite cat died"
She replied: "WTF man, this took me by surprise, you should've prepared me for such tragic news"
-and how on earth would I do that?
-first you tell me the cat went outside to play, the next day you say the weather has been freezing these few days, I wo... read more

A man who lived at home with his grand ma and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to tell him of any emergencies.

A few days into his trip, his cat slipped while climbing the roof, fell off and died. His friend immediately texts him with the message: “Your... read more

\-Hi Gary, how's everything going?

\-Oh, not so good. To start your cat died and...

\-Hold on a sec, Gary. You don't ruin someone's vacation and give bad news just like that. You have to be subtle. You could've just said "Oh, the cat's up on the roof right now" or something, so I do... read more

After a week in Cuba, Joe gets a call from his friend.

Joe: Hey what's up man, how's everything back home?

Friend: Your cat died.

Joe: What?! You can't just call me and tell me my cat died.

- You could have made a first call and say: "Your cat is stuck in a tree and won'... read more

There's this guy, you see! He takes a trip to Europe.
It's his first vacation in a long time.
He sees the sights, you know?
He has a real good time.
Anyway, after a while he decides to call home.
He get his brother on the phone and the guy says to his brother:
"How's ev... read more

Carl went to Brazil leaving his little brother John to take care of his elderly mother and his beloved cat. Three months later he received a telegram: "Your cat died". Desolate, he called for details. After crying, I told John that this news is not given like this, that he should first have sent a t... read more

I went away to Summer Camp, and while I was gone my cat died. My dad didn’t want to upset me, so he told me that the cat went to live with my mom. Needless to say, I was heartbroken, but I soon learned that my dad lied to me because I was digging around in the backyard a few days later and found my ... read more

A few days into the vacation, the man gets a call from his friend, who says, "Your cat got run over by a car and died." The man, understandably, is horrified and says that it was too sudden. He tells his friend that what he should do is first, tell him that his cat ran away, then the next day, tell ... read more

My girlfriend's cat died, so I got her one just like it. Now she's locked me out of the house and is yelling "What am I supposed to do with two dead cats?"

And asks his friend if he can take care of their cat.

Days into the vacation, he receivea a call from his friend, and he says:

"Hey, your cat just died..."
"Jesus, man! You just messed my vacation! How am I going to tell my kids now? And you should'nt say it like that! First, you'd ... read more

And just to be sure, he asked his next-door neighbor if he would look in on them every day and make sure they were all right. “No problem,” said the neighbor. The man flew off to Mexico and after a couple of days he called the neighbor and asked how things were going.
“Well,” the neighbor sa... read more

So he asks his brother to watch his cat. Two weeks into the trip he calls his brother.

Man: "So, how is my cat?"

Brother""Well listen the cat died"

Man: "That's not how you break something like that to someone. That cat really meant a lot to me. You should have said something li... read more

The man asks, "How's my cat?"

The brother says, "Right after you left, the cat got out, ran into the street and was killed by a passing car."

The man says, "that's a hard way to break that news to me. I wish you had prepared me for it instead of just blurting it out like that."

... read more

His eldest son answers the phone. He asks his son how everyone is doing, son tells him everyone is fine, but the cat died. The salesman is heartbroken. He tells his son that he needs to break things like this more delicately. The son asks how.
The salesman tells him to be more delicate. First yo... read more

Stewart went on vacation and asked Jim to watch over his house. About a week later, Stewart calls home and asked "How's my cat?" Jim hesitated and sadly told Stewart his cat died. "What?! You shouldn't have broken the news to me like that! You should have done it slowly. The first time I called, you... read more

Richard was on vacation, and his brother, John, is watching his cat for him. Richard called John and asked how everything was going.
John answered, "your cat's dead."
Richard freaked out and said, "you don't just tell someone their cat died like that! You let them down easy!"
"okay, how sh... read more

A man goes on a business trip and has his best friend watch his cat. In the middle of his trip, he calls to check on things, but his friend says, "Yeah, your cat died."

So the man gets upset. "You can't just say that! You should have broke it to me slowly. Like, this time, you could have said... read more

A man's wife leaves for a week to visit friends across country. She leaves him food for the week and instructs him to keep the house clean and feed the cat. After 3 days away, the woman calls and asks him how everything is going.

Wife: How is everything?

Husband: Pretty good but th... read more

with their grandmother and her cat. The first brother went on a business trip, and when he arrived at his destination, he checked into his hotel, and called his brother at home. "I made it safe and sound" he said. "How is everything?"

"Bad" said the second brother. "The cat is dead."
... read more

And today he called home.

He asked me how things were back here, and so I took a deep breath and told him the truth.

"Your cat died."

My brother was aghast, especially at how coldly I said it.

"Joe, that's not how you break bad news." Miles away, I could hear the frustr... read more

A man goes on vacation and leaves his cousin in charge of the house. One day he calls his cousin to ask how everyone is doing...his cousin says that everyone is fine but the cat died. The man clearly upset tells him "why did you tell me that! you ruined the rest of my vacation...you should've said s... read more

...his brother picks up the phone, they say their hellos and ask how each other are doing. The soldier then asks how everything is with the rest of the family. The brother says, "Well, the cat died."
The soldier is shocked by this and answers, "You can't just drop that on me, you need to ease m... read more