UPJOKE
alleyatccatschatcivetctufelinefossajackkittylionmeowocelotpajamaspuss

If you pour salt on a cat's tail, it'll fall off.

If you pour pepper on a cat's tail, it'll fall off, too.

What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail?

Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian make a bet about who'll manage to make a cat eat mustard.

The American grabs the cat and shoves the mustards down its throat.

\- What are you doing? - they shout at him. - This is violence!

The Frenchman put the mustard between two pieces of sausage, the cat eats them.

\- What are you doing - they shout at him. - This is deception!
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With great enthusiasm and singing a song

Reagan visits the USSR and is amazed by the capital construction he has seen.

Reagan: "How do you manage to build structures like this? Your logistics is shit, you have no technology and people are apathetic."

Gorbachev: "Soviet people built it all with great enthusiasm and while singi...

A cat is walking across a train track... (joke from my 94 yr old grandpa)

The cat just makes it across the second rail as a train comes speeding past, cutting off the tip of the cat's tail. The cat at once jumps up and around, and its head is run over. The moral is, don't lose your head over a little tail.

A fireman was working outside the station...

A fireman was working outside the station when a little girl wearing a firefighter's helmet rolled up in a wagon that was decked out like a firetruck, complete with a stepladder hanging from the side and a garden hose coiled up in the middle. Pulling the wagon were a dog and a cat, each tethered by ...

A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...

The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"

The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"

The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The...

So this guy was driving down a street...

...and felt a bump. He got out of his car quickly and looked to see what he'd hit. Turned out, he'd ran over a cat's tail, and it had come off! He started to panic. What would the owner do? He scooped up the tail-less cat and kicked the tail into a bush, hoping no one would notice.

He ran to...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.