UPJOKE

Cardi B Jokes

Cardi B has a sister that's a fitness instructor.

Her name is Cardi O

Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar...

I don’t remember the rest.

What would Cardi B be called if she decided to live a healthy lifestyle ?

Cardi O

Cardi B’s sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly

They call her ‘Cagey B’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would Cardi B’s porn name be?

Oral B

What would you do for Cardi B?

Nothing, but I'd walk miles for Cardi O.

To raise heart health awareness, Cardi B changes her name...

To Cardi O

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cardi B did a promo at the superbowl

It was for Wet Ass Pepsi

If Cardi B was a bee. . .

Would she make honey moves?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What should be the last lyric of Cardi B’s song “Wet Ass Pussy”?

The Aristocrats

Cardi B walks into a bar.

I don't remember the rest of the joke, do you have some spare change for a taxi home?

Why does Cardi B explore haunted libraries?

To look for ghostwriters!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cardi B was seen running in fear from a water balloon fight.

What a wet ass pussy.

What does Cardi B say when fondly remembering the band Nirvana

Oh Kurrrt..

Why do you never hear Cardi B at the gym?

Cause there it's called cardio

Cardi B was hosting a private pool party...

With music bumping, and social media blowing up with post about where it was, tons of fans were trying to get in, but bouncers turned them all away unless Cardi B gave approval herself.

As the party reached its peak, screams started coming from the pool and everyone rushed out getting water ...

What's the difference between cardi b and an elf?

An elf can wrap.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Cardi B and a Chipotle server?

They both take your money and leave you with a sore asshole, but a Chipotle server can wrap.

Who would win in a fight between Bill Cosby and Cardi B?

Whoever drank last.

So Cardi B just announced she is divorcing Offset

He gonna get that Wealthy Alimony Payment

Cardi B has a son and he’s a car salesman

His name was Cardi Laship

Cardi B’s search on Spotify jumped by 750%

After Spotify introduced the ‘Don’t play this artist’ option.

Those girls that say they want to be like Cardi B

Maybe they should try some Cardi O first

After giving birth, how will Cardi B lose weight?

Cardi O

Just received an e.mail stating $50 dollars to see Cardi B. live.

I'm probably not the right person to spam for these types of ransoms.

I just learned Cardi B has a cousin who’s really into fitness.

She’s called Cardi O

A original joke.

Did you know that cardi B has a famous cousin who’s well known in the health department?

Her name is cardi O

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you have the Lady Gaga Oreos?

Customer: Excuse me, do you have new Lady Gaga Oreos?

Employee: I'm sorry, we only have the Cardi B ones.

Customer: What's that like?

Employee: Soggy. It's a wet-ass cookie.

I went on a date with this girl...

and for some reason we got to the topic of celebrity crushs
I told her that mine was Cardi B

She told me that her crush was Paul Walker, I immediately replied with 'so we have similar tastes'. She gave me a confused look so I elaborated by saying 'well both of them used to be wrapped arou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Made a cocktail using Barcardi and NyQuil.

Called it a Cardi B.

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