The Pope dies and stands before the Gates of Heaven.
He knocks and St. Peter opens the Gate.
St.Peter:"Yes?? How can i help you??"
Pope:"I wanna speak with God."
St.Peter:"And you are ???"
Pope frustrated:"Im the Pope!!!"
St. Peter:"Doesnt ring a bell."
Pope very angry:"I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH GOD!!!"
St...
I buy all my guns from a guy that calls himself T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Trump calls himself a “stable genius”.
He must mean he’s an Einstein at shoveling horse shit.
My friend and I can't agree on what his job title at the rabbit farm actually is, he calls himself a processor while I say he is a butcher...
... Either way, he is just splitting hares.
Have you heard about that singer with muscle atrophy?
He calls himself the weakened.
My friend Jack is a prolific and unscrupulous trader, he has made a profit on everything
from silks to elephants, once he even purchased an enslaved nun. Calls himself Jack of All Trades, and master of nun.
My alcoholic friend says beer has made him a psychic
He calls himself "Bud the Wiser"
Did you hear about the lawyer who moonlights as a U2 impersonator?
He calls himself Pro Bono.
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