UPJOKE
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Called For Jokes

President Biden has called for full legalization of marijuana

Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session.

I had a cousin called Marco. Tragic story. He got lost in a crowded shopping mall. My aunt called and called for him

but of course she hadn't a hope of hearing him calling back.

Magic Mike and his buddies get called for jury duty

Case was declared a mistrial on account of a hung jury

A Zen novice called for an electrician.

Upon arrival at the monk's apartment, the electrician asked how he could be of assistance.

"I'm having trouble with this brand-new lamp that I just bought," the novice said. "I've tested the outlet, I've flipped every switch, and I still can't get it to work."

The electrician examined ...

I found a recipe from Morocco for homemade dinner rolls. It called for fresh thyme but mine was outdated. I used it anyways.

You know, as I reminisce, I really like that old thyme Moroccan roll.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man in a motel called for a prostitute.

The pimp replied " $50 for an ugly one, $500 for a pretty one. " The man wanted an ugly one.

She arrived and undressed herself and was told to sit naked on the sofa overnight.

In the morning, she asked "Why did you call me to come here? "

He replied " There are too many mosq...

I once turned down a farm job because it called for haulin’ oats.

I told them, “I can’t go for that.”

This is my friend’s joke - original, supposedly. Posting it here for feedback.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A situation occurred that called for a penis joke.

but i was unable to think of one, until a few minutes later.


you might say i had, a post-mature ejokulation.


(not sure if NSFW so better safe than sorry, am reddit nub)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three people are called for an interview...

... Before the day of the interview the employer took the guys out for a fancy dinner to sense the strengths and weaknesses of his future employee.

The day of the interview.

The first guy went in. The employer asked several questions and the guy answered. The employer was impressed wit...

A farmer had three daughters

And they all three had dates planned for this evening. The farmer got his shotgun out to clean as well for added intimidation for the gentlemen callers.
At 5PM there was a knock on the door, so the farmer answered it with his shotgun in tow.

A young man was standing in the stoop, and said,...

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony

On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I read that 18th century scrambled eggs called for a quarter pound of butter

That recipe sure had a pretty large margarine of error.

People stuck in an elevator called for help.

They were let down.

What Egyptian King called for equal farting rights for all?

Toot-in-common

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