I got fired from my job at the calendar factory a couple weeks ago, and all I did was take a few days off.
But it's alright, I think I'm going to become a mirror washer.
It's something I can really see myself doing
I lost my job at the calendar factory.
My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off.
How does a lawyer sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
A few other excellent puns:
He wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then he changed his mind.
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? - Ireland. It’s Dublin every day.
A ...
I'm an expert at dating
After all, I work in the calendar factory 12 hours a day
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