UPJOKE
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In ancient Rome, a man was convicted for eating his wife.

The soldiers arrested him and bought him before Caesar.

"Do you have remorse for your heinous crime?" Caeser asked.

The Roman smiled and shook his head. He looked very happy.


Caeser was shocked. He told the guards

"To commit such an act is bad enough but to be happy a...

Did you know that Brutus killed Caeser over a game of Battleship?

Caeser's final words were: "E-2, Brute?"

What did Caeser eat at the Mardi Gras?

Etouffee

Any salad is a Caeser Salad if you stab it enough times

It's also more healthy if you've Et tu

A Roman emperor walks into a Pompeii restaurant and orders a salad.

CAESER?! The waiter exclaimed. No, waldorf he replied.

What do you call a chicken looking at a piece of lettuce?

Chicken caeser salad.

My girlfriend tried to sneak leafy greens into another country on our vacation...

...I thought customs was gonna Caeser salad, but they let it romaine.

How do you cut the Roman Empire in half?

Use Caesers

How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

Little Caesers

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