UPJOKE

Bucket List Jokes

I finally crossed running a marathon off my bucket list

No chance I was ever going to do it, glad it’s gone.

All my friends have such expansive bucket lists.

Mine is just a little pail in comparison.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do all black people have a problem with slavery?

Or just mine?

Edit: wow, front page of reddit! For those commenting on the distasteful nature of these joke, remind yourself.. It's a joke. The joke is based on wordplay, quick delivery, and is in no way designed to be racist. Slavery was never something to laugh about.

Edit 2: Holy g...

On my Bucket list:

1. Pail
2. Mop Bucket
3. Ice Bucket
4. Car Washing Bucket
5. Climb Mt. Everest
6. Livestock Bucket

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The new Royal Baby has already done three of the things on my bucket list/

1. Become a billionaire
2. Meet the Queen
3. Suck Meghan's tits

Why can’t frogs ever complete their bucket lists?

They croak before they even get started.

I just finished all 18 things on my bucket list

Edit: beer bucket.

On the bright side, I got to scratch something off my bucket list today ...

N̶o̶t̶r̶e̶ ̶D̶a̶m̶e̶

I'm getting pretty old and I can feel myself slowing down, so I made a bucket list:

1) Change the "b" to an "f"

(-Jerry Seinfeld, sort of)

I've compiled my bucket list.

I've compiled my bucket list.
4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits.

My girlfriend asked me if I'd ever seen "The Bucket List."

I said no, but I'd like to before I die.

I wrote down my bucket list on a piece of paper, and my crush decided to use it to roll up her joint.

She is now high on the list of things I want to do before I die.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man decides he wants to meet his grandson before he dies

He lives in the wilderness like a hermit so he hardly ever meets anyone. So he invites his young grandson over to mark one item off his bucket list. His grandson arrives and notices his grandfather is scarred all over and missing some of his limbs, most noticeably one of his hands.


"Ho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told my wife that joining the Mile High Club is on my bucket list.

She said she didn't give a flying fuck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump.

I heard this was the subreddit for old jokes that aren't funny and won't die.

 

 

 

 

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**Edit:** My goal (reddit bucket list type thing) was to create an organic, original,...

As I sat there naked in George Clooney’s hotel room, I thought to myself..

I might have accidentally picked up my wife’s bucket list instead of mine.

I met a chicken who was a fan of The Beatles today

He told me his number one thing on his bucket list was to meet someone named Abby.

When I asked him why, he said "I've always wanted to cross that road"

Popcorn, ice, sand, water

is my bucket list. What's yours?

A dead ethopian left behind an unfinished bucket list

1. Eat

A child with cancer goes skydiving for his bucket list

He's now at terminal velocity.

What did the paint do after he got bullied at school?

Oh, he just brushed it off.

Sorry for making a bad paint joke, it's been at the top of my bucket list for a while now.

Plastic. Metal. Big red. Ice. Ash. Industrial.

My bucket list.

I was surprised when a friend said he'll work at KFC right after graduation..

Out of curiosity, I asked him why.



All he said was, "It's on my bucket list."

A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, pot, keg, barrel, and bowl.

I needed to make a bucket list before I die.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist in Mexico goes into a bar to get wasted

It’s his last week on vacation and one of the things on his bucket list to do is basically to drink until he is completely wasted. As the night prolongs, he notices little by little the bar begins to empty. The bartender in his best English that he can muster says to him, “Señor, I think you should ...

I fetched a pail of water and ate a whole KFC family meal to myself...

So that's two things I can cross off my bucket list.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mean Drunk!

One day two guys go to a bar on the 100th floor of a building. It's a pretty fancy and famous place you'd go to tick it off the bucket list. A drunk approaches them

Drunk: You know what I can do, do ya?

Man1: Ummm, we want no trouble mister.

D: Nonsense no trouble I just wanted ...

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