UPJOKE

Broken Condom Jokes

"What are the broken condoms doing on the couch?!"

"Our children have names, Harold!"

Husband : Why are there broken condoms on our couch???

Wife : would you please call our children by their real names?

I yelled at my wife today for keeping broken condoms on the sofa

She answered that I shouldn't call our kids like that

Every day I'm surrounded by broken condoms.

Running a daycare center is tough.

When you give your friend a broken condom as a prank and

now you have another brother

"Honey, why are there broken condoms on the backyard?"

And that's when his wife replied shouting: "I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING THE KIDS THAT!"

Why do I see so many broken condoms outside?

Honey, those are called "children" and should be treated as such.

Man talking to his wife and asks “honey, where did you place the broken condoms?”

Wife: please stop referring to our kids as broken condoms, and they are at football practice

“Broken condom”

Husband: “Honey, why is there a broken condom laying in the sofa?”

Wife tensed: “Where?”
She goes out to check and return

Wife: “For God sakes, stop calling our son a broken condom!”

Beth, why are all of our broken condoms on the couch?

HONEY! How many times do I have to tell you not to call out kids like that!

Each sperm contains 37.5 MB of information. A broken condom is therefore a data breach.

Better get and NDA from the other party.

A Man Walks into His Home

He calls out to his wife, "Honey, why are there two broken condoms sitting on the couch?"

His wife replies, exasperated, "For the last time, can you please call our children by their actual names?"

A man and his son are walking, and the son says, "Father, I have a question."

The father says, "Yes, son?"

"Father, why is my sister called Brooke?"

The father replies, "We called her Brooke because when she was conceived, your mother and I were near a brook."

The son thinks about this and then says, "Father, I have another question."

The father sa...

We met a family with 5 kids. I guessed their names correctly

Honeymoon, Valentine's Day, Pulled Out, Forgot the pill, and Broken Condom.

Good-for-nothing

Husband: What are these good-for-nothing broken condoms doing on the sofa?
Wife : For god's sake , Thier names are John and Mary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple's children get together to ask their him about the origin of their names.

"I suppose you're all old enough that we can tell you the real story. Each of you were named according to the circumstances surrounding your conception," the father said.

"What about me?" asked his first child.

"Well, Breckenridge, your father and I took our honeymoon to go skiing and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I stopped at my buddy's house....

...this afternoon for a quick visit. I told him there was a Broken Condom in his front yard. Now his wife is pissed off at me again because apparently I never acknowledge their son by his real name.

A little Indian boy asked his father...

...the big chief and witch doctor of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"
His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men, who liv...

Alright, dammit. Native American jokes it is.

"Father, tell me again about how we get our names."

"Well, in our tribe we name our children after the cause of their birth. You sister is named 'Beautiful Doe' because your mother saw a deer so lovely that she came to me passionately. Your brother is named 'Deep Snow' because the storm was...

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