UPJOKE

Breath Stink Jokes

What do houses eat when their breath stinks?

Apart Mints

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My new girlfriend is a cat person...

.. her breath stinks of fish, she shits in a tray, and she disappears for days at a time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

Bachelor shopping

A man, enjoying bachelorhood while his wife was away visiting her parents, lived like a typical bachelor, living on whatever was in the pantry.

Cauliflower in the fridge? Fry them with the eggs found there and that's lunch and dinner. Don't want to cook? Open up the cans of soup in the pantry...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar...

After a long day of work, a guy walks into an empty bar. He looks around and sees no one, but suddenly hears a voice say:

- "You look nice."

He jumps and spins around - but no one is there.

*Again he hears the voice:*

- "That coat looks good on you."

*He looks puzz...

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