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Bombarde Jokes

I absolutely hate donating blood. As soon as you walk through the door you get bombarded with questions.

I absolutely hate when they ask
“Where did you get it?”
“Why is it in a bucket?”

Girls on dating apps get bombarded with too many lame and boring messages

For them, finding the good ones is like finding a needle in a hey-stack.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is out golfing when she hits her golf ball into the woods. When she goes to retrieve it, she finds a talking frog trapped beneath a fallen tree...

"Please!" the frog cries, "Help me! If you can just lift up this tree even just a little bit, I will be free! And I'll grant you three wishes!"

The woman quickly agrees, and throws her weight into the tree. She can't lift it much, as it's quite heavy, but she does manage to move it just barel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day the Pope...

Decides to get rid of all the Jews in the Vatican. Of course this brings an uproar in the Jewish community until finally the pope calls for a silent debate for the Jews to stay. So the Jews send the Rabbi.

The Pope and Rabbi start their debate, with the pope raising three fingers. The Rabbi r...

A doctor and a lawyer are at a party...

People at the party keep coming up to the doctor and asking him for medical advice. The doctor gets aggravated that he cannot enjoy the party because of the constant medical questions. He notices that his lawyer friend is sitting peacefully in a corner and hasn't been disturbed all night.

The...

One day, an old man was hammering a large, wooden stake into his garden.

Unfortunately, that same day, the captain of the Navy was walking past. When the stake caught his eye (despite it being very basic and unattractive), he decided he wanted to own it. So, he waited for the old man to leave, and promptly pulled it out and carried it away to his submarine, where he foun...

A quote from a WWII veteran...

If you see a group of soldiers but don't know where they're from fire a stray bullet in their direction and see how they react.

If they respond with precise rifle fire they're British.

If they respond with a frenzy of machine gun fire they're German.

If they try running away the...

A depressed man walks into a lawyer’s office...

“I’ve been accused of stealing!” he exclaims. “They day I stole canned ham from the back of a delivery truck. But I’m innocent!”
“Alright,” the defense attorney says. “I’ll take your case. But it’ll cost you $5000.”
“I’ll pay you $2500 now, and pay the rest after the trial,” the man says.
...

A man was looking after a parrot for his brother.

For several days he was bombarded loudly at all hours by its swearing and noisy intrusions. His warnings to behave were ignored. Eventually, in frustration, he opened its cage, grabbed it, and threw it into his freezer. After five minutes he relented and replaced it on its perch. It was suddenly hum...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man in Ukraine who operated a train for a living.

He showed up to work one day extremely drunk and starting hitting people on the tracks, killing a few before he was caught and arrested. State law deemed that death via the electric chair was an acceptable punishment for his deeds.


The day he was put to death, they asked him for any last ...

I really hate candle shops.

When you walk in a mall, you can smell those stores fifty yards away. When you walk in the shop, you just get bombarded with s hundred fragrances and a migraine comes in and pounds you in the skull. And by the way, who needs a hundred different kinds of scents?! Popcorn scented candles?! Just buy a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Traveling Friar

This simple friar came upon a small village with a convent upon a nearby hill. Crossing through the village he was bombarded with a strange greeting from many of the local women. "5 shillings for a blowjob!" Thinking to himself this must be local workers hawking but as to what a blowjob was he had...

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