Blonde Girl Jokes

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the

tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't

understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."<... read more

A blonde girl rents out a stadium and invites as many blondes as she can and sure enough 80,000 blondes fill the stadium and she films it all on live television. She invites a little 4 year old girl out in front of everyone and asks her “what’s 2+2?” The little girl shivers and squeaks out “T-three?... read more

“Mommy Mommy, all the other kids can only count to 4, but I counted all the way to 10! Is it because I'm blonde Mommy?”

“Yes dear, it’s because you’re blonde.”

The girl returns home the following day even more ecstatic.

“Mommy mommy! When we dressed for gym class, all the oth... read more

...wants to know what life is like as a brunette girl, so she goes to the hairdresser and has her hair died brown.

Eager to show the world her newly acquired intelligence, she goes on a walk and meets a shepherd. She walks towards him and says:

"if i can guess how many sheep you have... read more

Artificial intelligence

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the
porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"


Delighted, the girl quickly responded,
"How about $50?"

... read more

"Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!"

The mom replies, "That's great honey!"

Jenny then asks, "Is it because I'm blonde?"

"Yes sweetie" says the mom.

The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out "Mommy mommy! To... read more

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that ... read more

...so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together. After a while she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend. He asks her what is wrong and she tells him about the trouble she is having with the puzzle. He tells her to look at the picture on the front and tell him ... read more

She brings it to work and shows it off to all her friends. Friend: "What does it do?" Blonde: "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Friend: "What do you have in it right now?" Blonde: "A cup of coffee and two Popsicles!"

For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.

"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.

"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.

One of the blondes yells over to the other one, “How do I come about getting to the other side of the river?”.

The other blonde angrily yells back, “You see, it’s blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad. You ARE on the other side of the river.”

So she decides to gather a stadium full of blondes to prove that not all blondes are dumb. She picks one woman from the crowd and asks her,

"What is the square root of 144?"

The woman thinks long and hard and answers, "Uhmmm, 7?"

The stadium starts chanting, "one more try!... read more

She tells the salesman:

"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my
computer screen".

The surprised salesman replies:

"But madam, computers do not have curtains...".

And the blonde said:

"Helloooo.... I've got Windows!!!"

Not mine:

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before w... read more

"I'm blonde"

She spots the t.v. she's been saving up for, picks it up and goes to the cashier
The cashier says "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes"
Disgruntled she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she goes into the appliance store, picks out the same t.v. and once again goes to... read more

So one of the girls says: "no we're not, we'll prove it!"

The guy: "Ok what's 3 + 2?"

One of the blondes: "7"

After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.

The guy: "ok you get a second chance, what's 2+4?"

One of the blondes: "6"<... read more

She comes to one guy's house and rings the doorbell.

"Yes?" the man answers.

"Hi there!" greets the blonde happily. "I'm trying to earn money for college. Do you have any jobs around the house you need done?"

The guy smiles. "Sorry, sweetheart, not really. I was gonna paint th... read more

Jenny, a blonde girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" ... read more

Because you’ll have to explain it 5 times

The brunette is jumping on and off the tracks. As she jumps she says, “21 21 21 21”.

The blonde girl asks her what she’s doing.

The brunette says, “oh it’s fun join me.” The blonde says, “OK” and starts jumping.

As they jump they say, “21 21 21 21.” The blonde notices that a... read more

And they're trying to get to the village on the other side

1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river

the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft a... read more

One of them said "Yesterday I slept with two Brazilian guys!"



The other said "Wow, I don't even think I've seen that many guys!"

A brunette with bad breath.

Instructor: Your husband and your son pop up right in front of your car as you are driving. What object do you hit first?

Blonde: My husband, of course!

Instructor: For the fourth time, you hit the brakes!

We bought our tickets and waited in line for snacks. I got popcorn; she got M&M's. We got a drink to split.

We sat down during the previews. I started eating my popcorn and she opened her M&M's and dumped them all out in her lap. She carefully separated them all by color, took all the... read more

...and she says to the veterinarian, "Hey, I think my goldfish has epilepsy; it has these awful seizures!"

The veterinarian takes one look at the fish and replies, "Well, it looks alright to me."

The blonde replies angrily, "Well Jesus, let me get it out of the bowl first!"

She realizes she is lost and tries to make a fire. She fails and lies on the ground in defeat, crying.

But then her husband walks outside and tells her to come back inside.

They stop at red:

-Look at that red color!

-Wow, it's beautiful.

-And the yellow!

-Such brightness!

-And the green!

-Much nature!

-Oh, it's red again, we saw it already. Let's go.

A very smart man boards a plane and sits down.
A blond girl sits next to him.

He is bored so he says to her

"Let's play a game, I give you a riddle if you cannot find the answer you pay me 5 dollars. If you answer it though you give me a riddle and I don't answer it I'll give you 30... read more

The train goes through a tunnel, it gets dark. A loud slap can be heard, an outcry follows it. As the darkness fades a big red mark can be seen on the Dutch guys face.

The Dutch thinks to himself "The German guy must have tried to the blonde, but she mistook us in the dark and hit me i... read more

A Blonde girl was pulled over by a police officer.

He said to the blonde, I have pulled you over in a 30 mile per hour zone for doing 50 miles per hour.

Blonde says, that's impossible I haven't even been out an hour..

The librarian stares at her questioningly and says, "Madam, this is a library."

The blonde turns red with embarrassment and apologizes.

She leans in and whispers, "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries."

She notices that the truck is losing its load, so when both the truck and her car come to a stop at a traffic light, Debby steps out and goes to tell the driver that he is losing his load. She stands next to the drivers door, and says: "Hello Sir, my name is Debby and you're losing your load." But t... read more

... If he knows how to repair laptops, he said yes and asked her what brand laptop she has, she said that it's a dy brand, he told that he never heard of the brand and asked her to send a picture of the laptop, she took the picture and sent it to him, he looked at it and he realised that was an upsi... read more

she says "Hey there gorgeous what are you drinking?"

He said"This? This is magic beer"

What do you mean magic beer?

Have a look at this - he takes a large gulp, walks up to a concrete wall and punches a hole in it

That's amazing said the girl, what else can it do?
... read more

Three blonde girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. Intrigued, they go to investigate.

The first one says: “I’m pretty sure those are bear tracks.”

The second one says: “No, I’m pretty sure they’re wolf tracks.”

The third one thinks for a while, then says “Actuall... read more

You see bullets holes in the mirror.

Because the label said "concentrate."

A math test.

She looked around the car, amazed, and then she saw the Mercedes logo, prominent on the front of the car's hood.

- Hey, what's that? - she asked.

- That? - he replied, chuckling - That's an aiming reticle. I use it to be able to hit pedestrians more reliably.

The girl fell silen... read more

Because on the box it says ''From 3 to 5 years''

While driving they see a sign "Disney Left". They cry and head home.

(Little bro told me this one. Not sure if it has been told before.)

Blonde: Could you please fix this for me?

Carpenter: Sure, but if you're here someone could rob your house

Blonde: Oh but how would they enter, the door is with me!

The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, "I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."

Someone told her drinks were on the house.

"Excuse me miss, this is a library."

^^"I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke," she whispered.

She quickly dialed 911 and cried, "I'm in the Orlando Mall parking lot, my doors won't open and its getting to be a hot day!"

The dispatcher sent a squad car and soon the police were searching about the parking lot looking for her car.

The operator asked, "The officer wants to know wha... read more

During a blind date, the beautiful blonde girl asked the guy:
- “So what do you do for a living?”
He answered:
- “I hunt and kill aliens”
- “Wow! I thought aliens don’t exist!” She surprisingly responded
- He grinned and said “You are f—-ing welcome”

No the other way.

So she turns her hands over.



Courtesy of Only Fools and Horses.

Airheads

She said that mannequin was one smooth talker.