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Blew It Jokes

Put my bin out this morning but the storm blew it away

It went wheelie high

Our company has been working on this big deal for a year and I just blew it.

Oh well, I guess it’s no big deal.

I just blew it!

A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned in. The Radio Jockey said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."

"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

"Feel confident?" she asked. "It...

I totally blew it with my new girlfriend

That's how it goes with inflatable partners.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently received a letter about my donkey dying, but as I was reading it, a gust of wind caught it and blew it up into the sky.

It became an ass ending sending ascending.

A bass player joke.

A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"

"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"

"That's great son!"

The next week rolls a...

I gave my children a warning about using their whistle in the house, they had one last chance…

Unfortunately… they blew it

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A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.

Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.

The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...

I was on the verge of winning the "Worlds Most Congested Nose " competition....

And then I blew it.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "About time you got here," the bartender comments. "You missed all the excitement." "What happened?" the guy asks. "We had a NFL referee in here. He had too much to drink and was running around blowing his whistle at everyone. I finally had to warn him abou...

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One time I took my friend who suffered from premature ejaculation to a brothel to work on his stamina.

He blew it.

In the jungle, there's a Football (Soccer) match between the Elephants and the Insects...

By half-time the elephants are completely dominating the insects with a score of 36 - 0.
At the start of the 2nd half the Millipede came on for the insects and he was the best player in the whole of the jungle!
When the final whistle blew it was 37 - 36 to the insects!!


Afte...

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I decided to try fellatio for the first time.

I blew it.

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I was once on course to win the Best Blowjob of the Year Award

But I blew it.

As USA gets closer to the 2016 election year, US citizens must remember that they cannot trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs.

The last time Hilary had a meaningful job, she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky...

And Monica blew it.

Once there was a boy who really liked tractors...

Tractors were his biggest hobby. He had lots of toy tractors and on weekends he would go and watch the farmers drive their tractors around in the fields.
As he grew older, he still liked tractors, but not as much because he started to find other interests.
When he turned 20 he met a beautifu...

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The cross-eyed mule

A farmer, extremely proud of his mule, often boasted that it could haul anything no matter the weight. As such, he constantly took the largest jobs and charged a hefty price for it.

One day in town he loaded up his largest job yet in his wagon. He hitched up the mule, gave it a switch, and th...

Scott Pruitt steps down as head of the EPA today

Scott blew it.

I had an interview for a party supplies store where I had to inflate a balloon as a test...

...I blew it :(

If you don't know the opposite of reddit…

…you blew it.

What did one radical muslim say to the other after a successful day of bombings?

Jihad a chance, and you blew it.

I got attacked by a giant dandelion earlier...

So I blew its head off.

For once Bill will be talking about Hillary...

When he says she blew it.

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I almost got a blowjob from a girl once...

but I blew it

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