If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

Because they don't have access to black magic.

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White people don’t shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

I was at the library today when a black guy came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were.

I replied, "Dude, it's 2019, you can use whatever printer you want."

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A professional gambler wins big and dies of an aneurysm.

When he gets to the afterlife, he finds himself at the back of a miles-long line to get into Heaven.

Drawing on his experience, the gambler immediately thinks of a way to get ahead of everyone else. He taps the old man ahead of him on the shoulder...

"Want to make a bet while we wait?"...

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

I bought a dog off a black smith once

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

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An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician.

He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think y...

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What do you call 5 black guys having sex in 1789?

A threesome.

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
...

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Black people usually name their kids after stuff they can't afford.

Like Mercedes, Diamond, Hope, or Insurance.

It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!

I love you refrigerator!

What is black and white and flies through space?

A cowmet!

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A black boy walks into the kitchen...

...where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends...

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A black man was driving a brand new mercedes

He saw cop lights in his rear view mirror and pulled over. He calmly pulls over to the shoulder of the road and waits for the police officer to knock on the window.

“Goin’ a little fast back there, yeah? License and registration.”

The black man hands over the information and says “Sir...

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When you’re dressed all in black and some smart ass asks you who died, simply look around the room and say

“I haven’t decided yet."

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How do you stop black kids bouncing on their beds?

Velcro the ceiling

A farmer is being interviewed on TV about his prize-winning cows.

The interviewer asks, "So tell us, what are you feeding these cows?"

"The black ones or the white ones?" the farmer replies.

"Uh... the black ones."

"Oh," says the farmer, "I feed them grass."

"Ok then, what about the white ones?"

"I feed them grass, too" the farme...

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

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What do you call a black man in space?

An astronaut, you racist prick.

These days you can't even say "blackboard" anymore.

The politically correct term is: "Jamal, get on my ship."

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, whose driving?

The cop....

What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?

A chalkboard.

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Why don't black people go on cruises?

They're not falling for that one again.

What's white on top and black on the bottom?

Society.

With all the political correctness in our current era, we can no longer say "black paint", but instead

"Tyrone, can you please paint the fence"

Woman meets a black guy at a bar

They talked for a while then she invited him to her apartment and said: "I want you to show me if what they say about black men is true ;)"

So he stabbed her and took her purse.

What’s black and completely useless to society?

Decaf coffee... obviously.

Why do all Russian Cosmonauts only drink black coffee?

Because in space, no one here use cream.

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I've always wanted a black girlfriend

That way, when we 69 I can call it "yin-yanging".

A blond girl , brunet girl, and black haired girl die and start their journey up to heaven.

Now to get to heaven these girls have to go up 100 steps. On each step there is a joke. If you laugh at a joke you fall straight to hell.
Now the brunet girl gets to about 25 steps then laughs hysterically at a joke about a dyslexic man.
The black haired girl goes much farther to about step 7...

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A guy hears a noise on his roof. He goes outside and sees a large black bear on the roof.

So he calls an animal trapper and explains the situation. The trapper says he'll be right over.

About an hour later, the trapper rolls up in a huge pickup truck with a large metal cage in the bed. He gets out of the truck followed by a tough looking pitbull. The dog looks pretty beat up, with...

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A black man from the USA, 200 cm tall, enters a coffee shop in Ukraine.

He sits down and orders a whiskey. An Ukrainian, 210 cm tall, enters the tavern, sits across the American and orders vodka.

The American, wanting to look superior, takes his whiskey and drinks it all at once.

So then the Ukrainian wanted to show that he can do it too, so he takes his v...

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There was a redneckwho hit every black man he saw with his truck.

One day he saw a priest walking down the road and thought, "For all the bad things I done, let me give this priest a ride." So he picked the priest up and they drove along. The redneck saw a black guy down the road and decided he would pretend to fall asleep and so the priest would think it was an a...

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There are only two types of people worse than racists

The blacks and the jews

What's black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee, you racist.

What’s black and at the top of the stairs ?

Stephen hawkings after a house fire.

A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit...

.... The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.
She ...

What do you call a Jewish bread that the Black Panther bakes for Thor's party?

T'calla's challah for the Val'Halla gala.

What’s black and white and red all over?

Charlottesville. In 2017

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Why do black people always have nightmares?

Because the only one with a dream died

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A skinny little white guy walks into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 15 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The little guy faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy s...

If a stork brings a white baby, and a crow brings a black baby; what brings no baby?

a swallow

Chess Joke

You know chess is like a mirror image of real life in a lot of ways. For instance the person playing as black doesn't always lose, but they generally have to work a lot harder.

I am so Pro-Black...

That I don't even pick cotton from an Aspirin bottle...

You know they say orange is the new black

I guess that's why Trump is president

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Three guys want to date a farmers daughter

There’s a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy. When they confront the farmer and he says

“Okay I’ll tell you what. You three go out and pick 100 things from my farm. If you can shove all 100 up your ass you can date my daughter. If you can’t I’ll shoot ya.”

They all accept and th...

Two bears are swimming in water, a black bear and a white bear. Which one dissolves?

The white one, because it's polar.

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You know what they say about Mexican and black people jokes.

once you heard Juan, you've heard jamal.

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Once you go black you never go back.

This is a very concerning statement for me because my poop has been black for about a week and it burns really bad and google says black stool means blood early in my digestive tract and I don't know what to do please help

If Jesus was born on Christmas and was resurrected on Easter, what happened on Black Friday?

Sales at K-Mart

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How do you know if you’re reading a black or a white Fairy Tale?

White: One upon a time...

Black: Y’all Motherfuckers ain’t gonna believe this...

What's the worst part about being a black jew?

You have to sit in the back of the oven

What do you call a beauty queen with a black eye?

Miss Treatment

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't, they arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

[OC]I have a black Asian friend named Bill Wong.

Bill has been my best friend all of my life since like 3rd grade. Recently, he met this girl named Emma Wong and fell in love with her. She is also a black Asian with the same last name.

To be honest, I’m kinda jealous. Ever since he met her he stopped talking to me and if I try to talk...

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Everybody knows there are words only black people can say, but what can only white people say?

"Thanks for the warning, officer."

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Not all black people have huge dicks

Just the guys

Why did the black pirates jump overboard

Because they heard the Sirens

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What do you call a black man who has just paid off his house loan?

Mortgage Freeman.

Why did the black hole get arrested

It commited mass murder

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Why do incels hate black people?

Because all the guys getting the girls are from Chad.

If you're going shopping on Black Friday, please be considerate...

By turning your phone horizontal before recording any fights.

​

That's all!

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go to the store without Robin.

On a casual drive from drinking a blond, red, and black haired women died in a car crash.

When they died God said to them that they could get into heaven if they could climb 100 steps with jokes inscribed on them and never laugh. So they started their ascend. Unfortunately the black haired woman laughed on the 21st step and fell off the steps to heaven. The red head laughed on the 43rd s...

Jussie Smollett paid two black actors to beat him up,

when Liam Neeson would have done it for nothing.

What do you call a white man surrounded by a hundred black men?

Coach.

What does Black Panther say when he sees an unfamiliar bird?

Wakanda bird is this?

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

a doberman

What do you call a black person who flys a plane?

A pilot you racist

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My girlfriend broke up with me today for making a joke about Black people.

Looks like she wasn't a fan of dark humor.

What’s the difference between five black guys and a joke?

Your mom can’t take a joke

When I was in Africa, I decided to play a little pokemon go until a young black boy stole my phone and ran off with it.

Oh well,

Gotta catch Jemal!

What is black and smells like caramel?

A diabetic after a flat fire

A woman named Patty Black finally gets her dream job at the bank

She is told to handle loans, but to get the manager is the loan was strange or asking for an excessive amount of money. After an entire day of nobody approaching her, somebody asks for her attention. It takes her a while to realize, but it is a frog in a suit sitting on the chair in front of her boo...

Minecraft is Racist

Minecraft has taught me not to look tall black guys in the eye or they get aggressive. They're faster and stronger than you and they randomly steal things. However, you can escape by running to water--they can't swim.

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A business man saw a brown cow and black cow

He then saw a farmer tending the cows.

**Business Man:** Hey you, do you know the owners of these cows?

**Farmer:** Which one? The black or the brown?

**Business Man:** The brown one.

**Farmer:** Yes I know.

**Business Man:** How about the black one?

**Farme...

Two black guys are up all night doing cocaine...

When all the coke is gone, one of the guys can't stop running in circles. He looks to his buddy and says, "Dude I can't stop running, I need to go to the doctor." When they get to the doctor, one of the guy says, "Doc you gotta help us. We were up all night doing cocaine and now my friend can't stop...

I order a circumcision from the black market once

It was a rip off

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Two guys are sitting at a bar and both have black eyes

They laugh about the situation, and one guy says to the other, “What happened to you?”

“Well”, he says, “I was at the airport and I go up to the counter to find this gorgeous, chesty woman working. And instead of saying, ‘Hi, I’d like two tickets to Pittsburgh’, I accidentally said ‘Hi, I’d l...

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Jews and blacks

Why are black jews so sad?
They have to sit in the back of the oven
(I got this form encyclopedias dramatica)

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Have you heard about the documentary on an average cops view of a black man in america

Pokemon: Gotta Catch em all

What do black mexicans call their friends?

Amiggas.

Hi, I'm black, and I hate it when people assume we're all criminals.

-Sent from your iPhone

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Why are black people so tall?

Their knee grows

Where do women have short curly black hair?

Fiji

What do you call a loyalist in the 1760s who had black sticky stuff thrown on them for a second time?

Re-tarred

What’s black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

My iPhone screen went black but I can still hear my ringtone and answer phone calls

It's just an earPhone now.

I Told My Black Friend He Has a Nice Shirt

He replies saying it is made out of quality cotton.

I asked if his parents picked it out for him.

If Black Panther was a Pokemon, Ash would ask him...

Wakanda Pokemon are you?

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What do you call a black man working without pay, against his wishes, because a white man said so?

A TSA agent, you fucking racist.