Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.
Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does.
Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.
Genie: You son ...
I was fishing on vacation in Florida, when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to swallow a frog and knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket...
Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.
I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp.
I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A litt...
I just made a boomerang out of a snake
I have a feeling that idea might come back to bite me in the ass
"I've found that I'd scream the exact same way If a piece of seaweed touches my leg or if a shark were trying to bite me."
- Kevin James
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I hate Halloween
Zombies are stupid, vampires suck, werewolves can bite me, and succubi? Fuck em.
Man and his wife are taking a walk...
... when they come to a house with a big vicious dog in the yard. Man calls out to kid on the porch “Hey, will your dog bite me if I walk by?”, “No sir!” Man and wife walk on by and dog runs toward the couple and bites each of them. “What the hell!? You said your dog wouldn’t bite us!!” “That’s not ...
You would think that I would eventually learn
That not everyone is grateful when you try to help them. I was driving the other day and saw an old guy trying to cross the road. I pulled over, turned on my blinkers and went to assist the fellow. This guy turned around, and came after me, and tried to bite me. Snapping turtles are a hell of a lot ...
A man walking on the beach stumbled on a bottle.
He picked it up and pulled the cork and a genie jumped out.
Genie: Thank you for freeing me. I will grant you one wish.
Man: I've heard this one, whatever I wish for will come back and bite me.
Genie: Nah man I won't do that. In fact if that happens I'll give you unlimited wishe...
“Teen Wolf” the Movie
Just finished watching Teen Wolf. Again. All those kids cheering him on, but not one of them ever said, “Bite me!”
What is Ernie's favorite kind of ice cream
Orange Sherbert!
Yes I know it's spelled sherbet - bite me!
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