UPJOKE

Biggest Fear Jokes

What's suicide bombers' biggest fear?

Dying alone

Teacher: “children, what’s your biggest fear?”

Tom (5): “snakes!”

Emily (6): “lions!”

Stanley (5): “the unbelievable senselessness of life, and that we will all die a terrible death in our nightmares!”

Lilly (6): “Stanley!”

What’s a crips biggest fear?

A blood test.

What are the two biggest fears of Russian military?

That the Chinese learn how to fight like the Finns, or that the Finns learn how to breed like the Chinese.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a Sex worker's biggest fear?

November

Guys biggest fear.... Too soon.

Girls biggest fear.... Late.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Therapist: what was you biggest fear again?

Me: the kool-aid man

Therapist: oh yeah

Me: Oh No

My biggest fear used to be dying alone

but thanks to Trump, I know it'll be in a camp, surrounded by other minorities.

What is a male pirates biggest fear?

A sunken chest with no booty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a Jewish conspiracy theorists biggest fear?

The Illumi-nazis.

😂Thought of this while driving yesterday...so it’s original as far as I know

What is a cannibal comedian's biggest fear?

A tough crowd.

What's a Paralympian's biggest fear?

Testing positive for WD-40.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex After Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact. “Judy, Judy.”<...

What is Donald Trump's biggest fear?

Mexican ghosts who can walk through walls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my therapist that my biggest fear is ejaculating twice in one day..

You can believe my shock when her response was, “come again?”

Because Corona, the red light district in Amsterdam is now closed. My biggest fear has now come true.

When this whole story started, I was afraid there would be no happy ending.

One of my biggest fears is getting married. I hear that 50% of all marriages...

...last forever.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say what kills you in your past life is your biggest fear in this life..

But I'm pretty sure premature ejaculation never killed anyone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year old asks his 91 year old grandpa to go fishing.

Grandpa: Let's go skydiving instead.

Grandson: Aren't you afraid that something could go wrong and we could die?

Grandpa: As old as I am dying is only my third biggest fear.

Grandson: What's your second?

Grandpa: Not making the most out of the time I have left.

Th...

Interviewer: Why did you become a pilot?

Pilot: To overcome my biggest fear.

Interviewer: Heights?

Pilot: Dying Alone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sent to prison

upon arriving his biggest fear is being someone’s bitch. he gets to his cell and his cellmate tells him “I only have two rules.”” The first is I get the bottom bunk.” The man immediately agrees hoping to avoid any confrontation. "The second rule is I like to play house to right now you have to dec...

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