UPJOKE

Big Word Jokes

I like big words and I cannot

prevaricate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LITTLE JOHNNY... BIG WORD

The teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!"

The teacher smiles and says, "Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnn...

Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand...

...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.

I try to use big words whenever I can...

Sometimes it backfires, but usually I end up looking really photosynthesis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife tells me to stop using big words I don't understand

I think she's just over-ejaculating.

There are two sisters...

... one is blonde and the other is brunette and they inherit the family farm.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the farm, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can bre...

Me trying to impress my girl with big words

Darling, you look absolutely... bovine

I hate when people use "big words" they don't even know the meaning, in order to look samrt.

For me, they are completely photosynthetic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with “tor” that eat other things.

The first little boy said, "Alligator."
"Very good James, that's a big word." The second boy said, "Predator." “Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done." Little Johnny says, "Vibrator." After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says,"That is a big word Johnny, but it doesn't eat a...

A mother ant and her daughter were out for a walk in their underground city.

They were having a lovely day until they came upon a group of protesters outside the queen's domain. One, with a sign reading *It's time to GO!,* spotted them and quickly approached.

"Excuse me ma'am, can you spare a moment to take a look at some alarming literature and help support our cause...

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Hear about the time Mohammed's wife called him a pedophile?

Mohammed responded "Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old!"

Little Johnny in class

A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with the letters 'tor' that also ate things.

The first little boy said, 'Alligator'.

'Very good, Jimmy, that's a big word', said the teacher.

The next little boy said, 'Predator'.

'That's also a very good wor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny’s teacher was starting a lesson on multi-syllable words.

She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few children for examples of words with more than one syllable. Jane, do you know any multi-syllable words? After thinking for a while, Jane proudly responded, “Monday”. Great, Jane, that has two syllables, Mon-day! Does anyone know any other words? I...

Sometimes I confuse Canadians and Americans

by using big words

Smart

Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home because he was performing an appendectomy. My, said the census taker, that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means? Sure! Three tho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sounding smart

Sometimes I just masturbate a big word into a sentence even if I don't know what it means just to sound smart.

A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking...

The girl says, "hey John, how do you spell 'pedophilia?'" He responds, "gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home to find his wife ready to leave,

, packing her bags.
He asks, "What happened honey? Where are you going?"

Wife replies, "I am leaving you, I know you are a pedophile."

Man exclaims, "Wow! 'Pedophile', that's a big word for an 8 year old."

I'm always shocked when people call me condescending.

Because that's a very big word.

Immigrants speak the best English.

Three paisanos from the old country are trying to impress each other with the big words they have learned in English.

One says, “My wife can’t have more children. That means she’s inconceivable.”

The second says, “That’s too bad, but you used the wrong word, you mean she’s impregnabl...

My wife called me a misogynist

I turned to her and said “Now where’d a pretty thing like you learn a big word like that?”

What did the prophet Mohamed say when his wife asked for a divorce?

"Those are pretty big words for a 6 year old!"

My wife said she's leaving me because i'm too patronising.

I said "Ooh, 'patronising' that's a big word!"

The little rascals. Hope this hasn't been told yet.e

This is one of the first "long" jokes I learned as a kid.




So Spanky, Alfalfa, and Buckwheat are in the 1st grade together. The teacher tells the class " Today students we will pick a word and use it in a sentence. You may pick any word but don't pick a word that someone has alread...

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