UPJOKE

Big Muscle Jokes

Last year a guy took his Blonde girl friend to the Superbowl

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the

tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't

understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Dad, does wanking give you big muscles?"

Dad: "I don't know son, but don't stop now... I'm about to cum."

What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles?

A Biceptual

Remember, big brains are important...

but big muscles are importanter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a sailor is submitted into the hospital

... with two broken arms. You know, a really tough guy, big muscles, lots of body hair and tattoos, a true seaman.

So the two nurses that have to wash him since his arms are broken meet in the halls and one says to the other:

"hey that sailor has a very funny tattoo on his willy, righ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man is spending his first day inside a nursing home.

He wakes up with a rock hard erection and immediately a beautiful busty blonde nurse walks in, gives him a sponge bath and sucks him off. When she leaves he calls his son and tells him he loves it, this is the greatest place ever and that he's going to get some breakfast. As he's walking out the doo...

3 women are in a horrible car crash and go to heaven.

3 women are in a horrible car crash and go to heaven. As they are approaching the gates of heaven they notice there are ducks that cover almost every inch of heaven. They ask St. Peter about the ducks.

“They are very sacred creatures and if you step on 1 you will be handcuffed to an ugly per...

A customer walks into the store

Two employees named Bob and John are in a store when a customer comes in. The customer has long hair and a slender body yet big muscles and broad shoulders. Bob says to John “Is that person a male or female. Its really hard to tell.” John says, “I’m not sure but I think she is a woman.” Bob shakes h...

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