...that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries.
Credit: Charles Demers
I want to pick up bags at the airport, and everyone's luggage was better looking than mine.
It was the worst case scenario.
Two guys are in a bar complaining how they can't pick up any woman
When one points at a man sitting alone at the table. "Look at that ugly mug. We are both better looking, have nicer clothes and more money. Yet every night he take a woman home, sometimes two at the same time." "True that!" agrees his friend, "we try to talk to girls, get them interested in us. He d...
Tinder Date: "Oh wow, you’re way better looking than in your profile pic."
Dorian Gray: "Yeah, I get that a lot actually."
Don’t you just hate that situation when you’re making sausage at a sausage factory, and everyone has better looking intestines to pack the sausage in than you?
A wurst casing scenario
I went up to a girl in the club last night and said, "That's a nice dress. Do you know what it would look even better on?" "Ha-ha, let me guess..." she sighed. "Your bedroom floor?!"
"No." I replied. "A better looking girl."
A disturbing but true story about me
When I was born, my mother died and my father abandoned me. So I spent my entire childhood with my aunt and uncle.
When I was in my late teens, I stumbled upon a video that my sister had made of herself. It was then that I realized that she was really, really hot. I watched the video twice, a...
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