Bend You Over Jokes

Jimmy goes to see a dominatrix that all his buddies keep recommending.

He nervously tells her, "All my friends said I should ask you for a 'Classic Vlasic Ass-Lick'. But they wouldn't tell me anything else. What is it exactly?"

She explains, "Well, first I'm going to strip you naked a... read more

"Baby, you're so sexy, I'm gonna twist your nipples 'til they're raw."

A little taken aback, she says "Excuse me?"

The man continues, "Baby, you're so sexy, I'm gonna bend you over and beat your ass with a stick."

Starting to get a bit offended she says "Dude, you can fuck right... read more

...so the manager hold auditions for a new pianist. After hearing some mediocre players, a man walks into the room, sits down at the piano, and proceeds to play the most amazing music the manager has ever heard. When the pianist finishes, the manager begins clapping emphatically. "Bravo!" he says... read more