My friend thought he was being smart, and said “Onions are the only food that makes you cry”.
So I shoved a carrot up his ass
A man dies and goes to heaven
A man dies and goes to heaven.
While entering the golden gates, he sees Saint Peter, surrounded by ticking clocks.
The man asks ¨what are those clocks for?¨
Saint Peter replies ¨These are lie clocks, and every time a person tells a lie, they tick. For example Mother Theresa gav...
Funny Comeback
Teacher: where is your homework? Kid: at home. Teacher: why is it at home? Kid: it's called HOME work for a reason. Teacher: are you being smart with me! Kid: this IS school isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be smart.
“Daddy, why are you so fat?”
“Well, honey, being smart, handsome, rich, talented, AND thin just wouldn’t be fair, now would it?”
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