How do you know all suicide bombers self identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end
There are two things I hate about being old
Number one is that I can't remember what number 2 is.
I said “I love you” to my cake.
It burst into tiers.
Edit: rip my inbox!
Edit 2: so many awards but no gold? I dare you to gild me. Go ahead, make my day!
Edit 3: Guys I was being sarcastic and referencing the movie Sudden Impact (cries in being old). Whoever gilded me just wasted their coins but still, thanks...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Nick had always wanted to own a motorcycle, which is why he leapt at the chance when a friend of a friend was selling his bike
The bike, despite being old, was in immaculate condition.
"How do you keep it so pristine?" asks Nick.
"Oh, it's easy! Any time it's about to rain, I just coat the body with vaseline, and the rain and mud just slips right off! Here, I'm not going to need it anymore, why don't you take ...
Being old is like being in prison...
It hurts to bend over.
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