UPJOKE

Being Born Jokes

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching

a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

There are children being born who’s parents weren’t alive when Shrek was released in 2001

It’s crazy how the years start coming and they simply don’t stop coming

You being born is mathematically called a...

Spermutation.

I was so surprised at being born that

I didn't speak for a year and a half.

Gracie Allen

Just saw a fun fact that said, "Babies are more likely to be born on Tuesdays."

As opposed to what? ADULTS being born on Tuesdays?

So many Irish twins being born these days

the numbers just keep Dublin up.

My mom always said I'd never accomplish anything other than being born.

To be fair to her, that was my crowning achievement.

A man gets to the hospital just as his child is being born...

He was pronounced Dad on Arrival

My newborn nephew entered the world with the innate ability to dance. They ran tests and found that he got the ability by being born with an extra chromosome. The doctors are calling it...

"Get down syndrome"

My buddy was in a horrible accident.

After a horrible accident, my mate went to the hospital. His condition was so bad, that he could not speak nor walk for three years.

Yeah, man. Being born, it does something to a person.

Don't believe for a minute that men and women are the same

Being born male makes a vas deferens.

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Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck...

They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," sa...

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The worst thing about being a Japanese porn star

Is being born with pixelated genitals.

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I just had sex with a girl who's celebrating her fifth birthday.

She said being born on Leap Day really sucks.

A redneck couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed'.

The doctor started the procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby ...

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