UPJOKE

Before Surgery Jokes

Right before surgery the surgeon says: "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."

The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." The surgeon says: "I know. I'm Jim."

Right before surgery, I asked my anesthetist whether I can administer the needle myself.

He said, “Sure. Knock yourself out.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This woman wanted to have some rejuvenation surgery after her years of child birthing, so she decided to get a vaginoplasty.

When she awakens from surgery, she sees three vases on her bedside table with flowers in them. The nurse walks into the room, and the woman asks “Hey, who are these flowers from?” The nurse looks at her and says “Well, one is from the doctor, he just wanted to thank you for shaving and cleaning up e...

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After making love, a guy rolls over and says "That's the best sex I've ever had!"

Then he notices a picture of a man on the nightstand. Worried, he asks "Is that your husband"?

"No silly" she replied, as she snuggled into him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked

"Nope", she replied.

"Then who?" he asked?

"That's me before surgery" she replies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Accident

A young woman's face is badly injured during a car crash. Before surgery the surgeon removes a large part of skin from her husbands buttocks so he can transplant it to her face. The operation is a success and the woman looks almost the same as she did before. Gratefully, the woman thanks her husband...

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