UPJOKE

Before Marriage Jokes

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SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?

Before Marriage:

Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: No don't even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will.

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will...

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Sex before marriage is a sin

Unless you do a doggy style

Because all dogs go to heaven

Before and After Marriage

**Before Marriage:**

Her: Hey!

Him: Finally, I have been waiting for so long..

Her: Do you want me to leave?

Him: No, I wouldn't even dare think about that

Her: Do you love me?

Him: Ofcourse, a lot!

Her: Did you ever cheat on me?

Him: NO, why w...

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A young man walks into a bar looking annoyed and sullen. "What's the matter, son?" asks an older patron.

The young man sighs.

"I have a girlfriend who's very nice and very pretty."

"So? What's the problem?"

"Actually, she's not just pretty. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life."

"That sounds great."

"Not only that, she also adores me and wants to b...

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I married a girl who didn’t believe in sex before marriage.

In hindsight, I should have made sure she believed in sex after marriage

What does rain do before marriage?

It precipiDATES!

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I don't understand girls My girlfriend used to say she can't have sex before marriage

Now she is married and says she can't have sex because she is married

A man before marriage, is a dude.

A man after marriage, is subdued.

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Did you hear about the Jamaican spicemaker who had sex before marriage?

He was a cinna-mon

Before marriage : "I see you in my dreams."

After marriage : "ICU, in my dreams."

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There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage...

... as long as it doesn't delay the wedding.

A young Irish girl goes to confession...

...and says, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

The priest replies, “Go ahead, my child.”

“Well”, she says, “Last night I made love to me boyfriend... FIVE TIMES! And it was GLORIOUS, Father. He made me tingle all over, and I swear it was as though I was seein’ the stars in my passio...

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Two Baptist ministers were eating lunch when one went on and on about young people having sex before marriage. He said, “God forbids it. It is a sin and I didn’t have sex with my wife until our wedding night. How about you?”

The other minister thinks and then says, “I don’t think so, what was her maiden name?”

Survey Report

If men behaved after marriage the way they behave before marriage, half the divorces wouldn’t take place.

If women behaved before marriage the way they behave after marriage, half the marriages wouldn’t take place!

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Sex after marriage

A girl and a boy meet at the discotheque and after a couple of dances it is obvious that they are really attracted to each other.

The boy asks the girl home and she accepts.

Once at home, nature being nature and the attraction being strong, after some kissing and petting, the boy ma...

What's the sad thing about man-caves?

It's where all your cool stuff is, and where you can do whatever you want. Before Marriage we used to call it life, but then it became a room.

Wife was massaging her husband's head.

Wife : you always ask for a head massage. Wonder who gave it to you before marriage.

Husband : well no one did , I didn't need one since there was no headache!

Are you still Dating?

Before marriage you are Dating,

After marriage, you are Acommo-Dating!

Happy Valentines Day!

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I was born in a very conservative family

so I am very much opposed to the idea of sex before marriage. This is why I always wait for women to get married before I sleep with them.

Did you hear about the non-denominational Christian who converted to Catholicism because of his Catholic wife?

He didn’t believe in sects before marriage.

A man, his girl and his nights.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something his girl says. After marriage, he will fall asleep before she finishes.

Wife : You stopped loving me after we got married...

Husband :I told you before marriage that I have no interest in married women....

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman

before marriage and after marriage.

Pre-marriage vs Post-marriage

Before marriage: continue reading ↓

Man: I can't wait for the day to come!

Woman: Can I go back on this?

Man: Of course not!

Woman: Do you love me?

Man: Of course!

Woman: Will you cheat on me?

Man: No, why would you have such a thought?

Woman...

Marriage Jokes...more like facts

Marriage Jokes

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

There are two times a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!

A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend....

will you enjoy some humour?

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!

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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long li...

A Chinese joke translated to English

A lion is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner, a rat is dancing too.
Rat is asked, "Hey! Why are you dancing?
Rat replied, "It's my brother's marriage, so only."
"When did the lion become ...

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