UPJOKE

Beef Sandwich Jokes

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are working on a building site...

High above the city, they sit together, eating their lunch as they do every lunchtime.
The Englishman, Arthur, opens his lunchbox and picks out his sandwiches.

"I say! roast beef sandwiches. I'm sick of roast beef sandwiches! If I've got roast beef sandwiches tomorrow, I shall throw myse...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job?

You don't know?

soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow?

A hungry man stops at a small restaurant along the road...

to buy something to eat. Behind the bar is a very attractive young girl smiling at him. Next to her is a board that reads:

* Tuna Sandwich $8
* Beef Sandwich $9
* Turkey Sandwich $8.5
* Handjob $5

After having read the board, the man asks the beautiful girl "Hey gorgeous are y...

Guy goes into a deli

He looks over the menu:

Ham sandwich: $5
Roast beef sandwich: $7.50
Handjob: $250

He looks at the hot blonde behind the counter and says, "who gives the handjob?"

"I do!" She says with a smile!

"Well, wash your hands and make me a ham sandwich"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor walks into a restaurant to try some new dishes

"Hello, what do you like to have today?" Asked the waitress

"Just give anything" said the doctor.

The waitress brings out a double cheese burger with fries.

The doctor took a bite and dislikes it.

"The burger is full of grease, too much fat and fries are just extra carbs...

Willpower

I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'

I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four men are sitting on a high construction site...

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, an English man, and an Australian.
They have just sat down at the top of the construction site for lunch.

Upon opening his lunch box the Chinese man exclaims,

"Fried Rice, again! If I have Fried Rice again tomorrow, I'm going to jump."

Th...

Guy at a sandwich shop (slightly NSFW)

A man driving down HWY 10 starts feeling hungry, when low & behold he sees a sandwich shop, so he pulls off to the side, and walks in. Upon entering he browses the menu: Steak Sandwich, Chicken Sandwich, Roast Beef Sandwich, and Handjobs. He looks behind the counter and the woman making sandwich...

A drunk walks into a pet store

. . . and leans heavily on the counter. "Gimmie a shot of Jim Beam," he slurs to the clerk.

"I, I'm sorry, sir," says the clerk, "you must be mistaken. This is a--"

"Goddamnit, I wanna (hic) drink, you can't tell me what mzmblrf kn izzenuf!" shouts the drunk, slamming his fist on the ...

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