My girlfriend woke me up with coffee in bed this morning.

Now I can’t see out of one eye, I have lesions on my face and neck, and we’ve gotta buy new bed linen.

My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets.

Now she complains that the bed linen stinks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was in hospital for a series of tests.

The last of which left his digestive system slightly worse for wear. upon making several false alarm trips to the loo, he figured that he might as well stay put. Suddenly, however, he shat in his bed and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.