I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

He said, “Try the ATM outside”

To all you beautiful girls, Happy Valentine's Day!

To all your fat girls, chin up, it's Pancake Day next week!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pregnant woman was walking past the bank one day when she heard three gun shots...

The woman awoke to the sound of small voice cooing as she slowly tried to grasp her surroundings. As she awoke, laying in a hospital bed, in pain and confusion, the doctor explained that she was caught in the crossfire of an active bank robbery and was shot in the stomach 3 times. Miraculously, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man without arms and legs was sunbathing

Three beautiful girls notice him, the first girl walks over and says “have you ever been hugged?” The man shakes his head, and the girl hugs him. The second girl asks “have you ever been kissed?” The man shakes his head, so the girl kisses him. The third girl asks “have you ever been fucked?” The ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...

As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.


He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.


"Why did you stop me you old fool?"


"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old ma...

Since I’m going away to college, my Dad sat me down to have a talk.

He said “OK, Dan, you're going off to college. You're going to be living away from home, in a dorm, surrounded by beautiful girls. So I got you something from the drug store.”

I said “It’s ok, Dad- I already know about condoms.”

He's said “No - anti-depressants.”

A German worker gets a job in Siberia, aware of how all mail will be read by the censors, he tells his friends;

"Let's establish a code, if a letter you get from me is written in ordinary blue ink; it's true, if it's written in red ink, it's false"

After a month, his friends get the first letter;

"Everything is wonderful here, the shops are full, food is abundant, apartments are large and proper...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.