UPJOKE

Bear With Me Jokes

Ok so, bear with me here

That isn’t a misspelling, call animal control

When I go to parties, I always bring my teddy bear with me

It's my plush one.

Bear With Me...

A guy goes hunting with a shotgun. He spots a great big BEAR in the woods. He aims, fires, a blast of smoke fills the air.

The smoke clears and... nothing. The guy feels a tap on his shoulder. Turns around, it's THE BEAR!

The Bear says "Bend over."

The next year the guy goes h...

Bear with me

please send a rescue team to the forest now!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Fly (a tad long, but bear with me)

On a hot midsummer afternoon a fly was hovering over a pond thinking, "if I just go two inches down, the moisture from the pond will cool me".

But, unknown to the fly, a fish was watching the fly from under the water thinking, "if the fly comes just two inches down, I can jump up and gobble i...

This one is a bit of a long one so just bear with me. It is a joke commonly said among post soviet people

Stalin sits at his usual table, in the glorius kremlin studying the map of eastern germany. His pencil sitting proudly beside him. Comrade Stalin looks away for a split second, and the pencil is gone! Stalin takes out a second pencil and places it on the table. Looks the other way again and the seco...

What if you're held at gunpoint(bear with me) by a literate animal

and you're only hope of rescue(BEAR WITH ME) is posting a coded message on Reddit!

Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says...

Bear with me...

I just became a Dad two months ago and I'm still practicing my Dad jokes, bear with me.

Don't worry though, he's a trained bear and completely under control.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bear with me...

A Russian man decides to take his son to the local pub to get shitfaced and meet the guys, as was tradition for a boy coming of age. The father sits the son down and explains to him that in order to be a real man he would have to complete three tasks. "First, you must drink this whole bottle of vodk...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told this one in a thread, so bear with me.

A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender takes one look at him and says
"We don't serve bears, please leave."
The bear replies "give me a beer or shit is going to get real ugly!" The bartender retorts "I told you once I told you enough; gtfo." Our bear spots the local barfly ...

A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear

The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"

The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."

A bear walks into a bar and orders 100 pints on beer

After 2 minutes the Bear asks “when are you gonna finish?”
the bartender replies “ bear with me sir”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An eccentric billionaire throws a lavish party...

Please bear with me as I heard/read this one years ago so I might not recall the details correctly:

An eccentric billionaire is throwing a lavish party with guests from all over the world. As the party is well under way he asks his guests to walk over to his Olympic sized swimming pool where...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man calls his home while on a business trip.

(I translated this joke from my native language so bear with me)

An unfamiliar voice answers the phone.
Man: "Who is this?"
Answer comes, "A am the maid."
Man: "What? there was no maid when i left a couple of days ago."
Maid: "I was hired yesterday and started working just...

A bear and a pony walked onto the stage at a convention...

And the pony went up to the microphone and said, "Bear with me, I'm a little horse."

A tired man walks into a French restaurant for a date...

(This is a really old and kinda long joke my parents used to tell me. It's translated from Spanish so bear with me.)

The man hated French food, but the woman was supposed to be an absolute beauty, so he agreed. He arrived at the incredibly fancy restaurant, exhausted from a day of work, and s...

Set up by a 4 year old

True story. This morning my 4 year old granddaughter asked if I new what a baby jumper was. I told told her I didn’t know. So she grinned, began jumping up and down, and told me it’s a baby that jumps.

Bear with me. I didn’t realize her literal answer was just a set up.

She then asked ...

"Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia" is the scientific term

For...erm...bear with me..

I'm sorry I haven't got back to you but I've been handcuffed to a panda

So bear with me

I really like animal puns.

I know it sounds weird, but just bear with me.

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