I must be ill

I thought I saw a sausage fly past my window, but it was actually a seabird. I think I've taken a tern for the wurst.

It makes me sick when people forget to add an apostrophe. I swear if it happens again...

I'll be ill

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are walking through the desert when they stumble across a lamp. They dust it off and a Genie pops out, the genie says "I will grant each of you 3 wishes!"

The first man says "I wish for a million dollars!" "Alright" says the Genie and just like that a million dollars appears at the man's feet.

The second man says "I wish for unlimited money" "Alright" says the Genie "Check your bank account" The man checks on his phone and sure enough there's a...

Why is it prohibited to feed eagles in several countries?

Because it would be ill-eagle

If you came down with an irritating sickness in Chicago...

Then you'd be ill and annoyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old farmer is drinking his morning coffee when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a stranger standing there with an empty jar in each hand.
“What can I do for ya, feller?” The farmer asked.

“Well, I was just passing by yesterday when I noticed you had some Honeysuckle vines growing on your fence row over there, and I was wondering if you might...

I phoned my boss.

I said, "I'm calling in sick tomorrow."

"But, how do you know you're going to be ill?" he asked.

I swear, sometimes he forgets that he works in a psychic shop.

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