UPJOKE

Bathroom Stall Jokes

OMG!!! I was sitting in the Nordstrom bathroom stall

And had just sat down when a voice in the next stall over said “Hi! How are
You??”. Embarrased, I said “I’m fine?”. The voice continued “So what are you up to??” I said “Just sitting here like you!” Then the voice says “Can I come over??” Thoroughly annoyed and somewhat alarmed at this point I sa...

I was sitting in a bathroom stall "doing my business", when suddenly the guy in the neighbour stall...

I was sitting in a bathroom stall "doing my business", when suddenly the guy in the neighbour stall started: **"Hey man, how are you doing?"**.



A little confused I replied: **"Ehm good, I guess."**



To my surprise the guy continued with: **"What ya doin'?"**


<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I figured out who is responsible for all the penis drawings in the bathroom stalls

It was Dick Tracey

What to say when someone knocks on the door of the public bathroom stall you're in

"We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations."

If they reply "Well what about old friends?", then you really should probably consider if you're decent before letting Gandalf in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is in a bathroom stall having a shit when he hears the guy in the next cubicle singing.

"Hey," he says. "I know that tune. That's The Beatles."

"Very good," says the guy in the next stall.

"Would you like to hear some of The Stones?" he says.

The guy pauses, and says, "Yes, go on then."

"OK," he grunts. "Let me just push a bit harder."

Why can’t an American bathroom stall lie?

You can see right through them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you pick a bathroom stall and it's dirty inside...

If you give a shit, then you don't give a shit.

If you don't give a shit, then you give a shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Found in a bathroom stall...

I hate to shock you on the throne,

But you're not in this stall alone,

There's no use standing on the seat,

The crabs in here can jump six feet,

Now you might think that's pretty high,

But in the next stall, the bastards fly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve designed a bathroom stall door that will open for everyone except British detectives.

It’s called a No Shit, Sure-Lock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I encountered my clone in a bathroom stall.

I said, "You've gotta be shitting me."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I will be in a bathroom stall later today to watch Trump's inauguration...

...it will forever be remembered as the day shit went down.

I saw two high school boys go into a bathroom stall together

before juuling, that would have meant something entirely different

What do you call a veteran who sleeps in a bathroom stall?

A loo-tenant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I read a sign in a bathroom stall that said, “Do not flush foreign bodies. Toilet paper only.”

Beneath it someone had written, “No shit?”

Whats the difference between a "hole in a boat" and a "hole in a bathroom stall"?

One is a "Man, that sucks" situation


The other is a "Sucks that man" situation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German, a Japanese, and a Russian were sitting naked...

... in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his finger into his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "Oh, that was my embedded smart watch," he said. "Germany has the smartest engineers in the world and I've had one of their devices placed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A large white bear walked into a bar, laughed, made out with the hottest girl, broke down sobbing, and had sex with a guy in the bathroom stall. A customer asked the bartender "Sheesh, what's his problem?"

"Bipolar"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If sex were free...

We'd ALL be screwed.

(saw in a bathroom stall)

HaPpy hUMp dAy

cursed bathroom story

A man is in a bathroom stall, when he hears a voice next to him.

Voice: How are you?

Man: Pretty good, how about you?

Voice: What are you doing?

Man: You know, just using the restroom, yourself?

Voice: I'm gonna have to call you back. I've got some idiot in the sta...

3 men use the restroom...

2 of them use the urinals and start boasting to each other.

"I have this new watch that is the latest in technology. It is inserted in my skin on my wrist and shows the time without all the bulk and hassle of wearing one!" He shows his wrist to his buddy as it shows a digital readout of the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A widower heads down to the bar

And grabs a seat on a lonely stool. He orders a drink and takes out the newspaper.

A woman saddles up next to him and starts flirting. "Well hello there sir" she says with a smile.

He nods toward her and returns to his paper. "So do you come here often?" She presses on.

"Have...

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