UPJOKE

Bathroom Scales Jokes

Someone stole my broken bathroom scales...

...but I'm confident they won't get a weigh with it.

You want to know why I have a sheep skull on my bathroom scales?

Weigh a head of ewe.

I'm not using my faulty bathroom scales again.

I’ve seen the error of my weighs.

I got one of those talking bathroom scales that is supposed to read your weight to you

But when I step on it, it says "One at a time, please!"

My wife said she wanted me to buy her something that will go from 0 to 160 in just a few seconds.

"That sounds expensive, what did you buy her?"

"A set of bathroom scales."

I bought my wife a Ferrari for Xmas.She said that's no good to me,I want something that does 0-to-160 in less than 3 seconds.

So I bought her bathroom scales.

Bob forget his wife's wedding anniversary

His wife was mad and demanded that there be something in the driveway the next morning that will go 0-200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE.

So the next morning comes around and there was a massive box in the driveway.

His wife unwrapped the present excited, to find a set of bathroo...

Jim and Joe are sitting at a bar drinking and jim asks where is John? Joe says John is missing . What happened asks Jim . Well joe says

John forgot his wedding anniversary again. His wife flew into a fit of rage, walked out to the driveway pointed to the ground and said., I want a present that goes from 0 to 200 really fast and I want it here by tomorrow morning.
Fine says Jim but that doesn't explain where John is.
Well cont...

Hey darling, what would you like for Christmas?

"Oh... I don't know... maybe something that gets from 0 to 100 in seconds when I step on it?"

"So... bathroom scales?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stitched up by my son.

I got in from work yesterday and was greeted by HPB Jr.

"Hi Dad, for Christmas I'm going to get you something that goes from 0 to 200 in one second."

He's been playing Forza 6 lately so I went along with it.

"0 to 200 ! Wow ! Where are you going to get the money to buy me a car ...

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