UPJOKE

Bad Habits Jokes

Ever year after Thanksgiving, I give up all my bad habits.

I can do it, because I have lots of cold turkey.

I have two bad habits:

One, I don't finish my sentences

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year ...

... but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor advised me to watch my bad habits..

... so I now produce child porn.

What do you call it when a nun sins regularly?

Bad habits

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The Kid's Betting Habits

A father was very upset about his young son's betting habits, so went up to school to talk to the boy's teacher, who promised to have a word with him.

"Maybe if he lost heavily on a bet, it would cure him," she suggested. That night after school she asked the boy to stay behind and confronted...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Dark side of KungFu

Master: I've been watching you for a while and have decided you aren't good enough.

Disciple: But I will try harder master.

Master: I'ts no good, you don't learn, your lazy and full of bad habits.
So instead I will break tradition and show you the forbidden Black Arts.

Discip...

I saw a few nuns at a bus stop...one of them was smoking a cigarette, one of them was wearing a beanie...

You could say they had a couple bad habits.

Well made nun clothes are actually more easily torn apart than poorly made ones.

Bad habits are hard to break.

A girl asks a boy on their first date

Girl : Do you smoke?

Boy : No, I don't.

Girl : Do you drink?

Boy : Hell no!

Girl : So you don't have any bad habits?

Boy : I have one.

Girl : What's that?

Boy : I lie.

What do deviant nuns have?

Big bad habits.

Clergy with terrible, terrible habits.

A Catholic priest, a Methodist pastor, a Baptist minister, and an Episcopalian rector were attending an ecumenical conference. After the conferences were done and they had supper, they were relaxing in the hotel restaurant, talking.

The Catholic priest said, "You know, it's great to get to k...

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