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I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you...

I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...

did y’all know that gyros are actually really bad for you?

yeah they’re made in greece!

If you're having tuning problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a pitch ain't one

If smoking is so bad for you

How come it cures salmon?

I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny. I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you." He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really? Did *he* eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own damn business."

**Edit:** Credit where due -- [/u/samvet21 informs me](/r/Jokes/comments/8cnjvk/i_saw_a_little_boy_at_the_bus_stop_eating_a_giant/dxhf9ku/) that the original joke was by Philadelphia comedian [Todd Gl...

Red meat is not bad for you.

Fuzzy red meat is.

Smoking cigarettes isn't completely bad for you,

Just think, for every cigarette you smoke it takes 7 minutes off your student loans.

Coffee is bad for you...

... yet OJ can kill you?

They say fast food is bad for you...

so I ate a sloth.

People say smoking is bad for you.

All I know is when I smoke, my brisket tastes amazing!

Beer is Bad for You

Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones! Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer - hops contain Phytoestrogens - and that by drinking enough beer, men began to act like women....

Anarchy is bad for you.

So there's two guys at a bar and the first one says

##So, how's it been going with your anarchist club recently?

###I got kicked out recently, sadly.

##Kicked out? Why?

###I don't know, I was just following the rules!

I read on the news that drinking is bad for you

So I quit reading the newspaper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Too much of phone sex is bad for you...

it'll give you hearing aids

If you thought alcohol was bad for your short term memory...

...just imagine what alcohol will do!

Drinking tea is bad for you.

Tea is more dangerous than beer. You should avoid it, and just say NO.


I discovered this last night. I had drunk 14 beers, until 3:00 am at the pub, while my wife was sitting at home, drinking tea.


You should have seen how angry and violent she was when I got home.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I eat p***y like I smoke cigarettes…

All the way to the butt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbit is hopping through the woods. Hop! Hop! Hop! When he comes upon a giraffe. Now, this giraffe is about to smoke some weed. The rabbit looks up at the giraffe and say, "Giraffe, don't smoke weed! Weed is a drug and drugs are bad, come running with me through the forest!"

The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed.

The giraffe tossed his blunt aside and they go running through the forest together. Run! Run! Run! Hop! Hop! Hopping along.

Soon they come to a clearing with a sheep.

This sheep is about to shoot up ...

High quality ads can be really bad for you.

They can cause ADHD.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.

The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you."

The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five".

The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?"

"No" says the boy, "But he minded his o...

As I was smoking, I decided to read the label and was honestly shocked to find out that smoking is bad for you

It made a die a little inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You guys keep getting this joke wrong. "What is red and bad for your teeth?"

A brick...

Now shut the fuck up.

I've never understood people who don't drink because it's "bad for you"

Honestly, I think they should lighten up and liver little.

If video games were really bad for you, then the entire Pac-man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems

Oh wait.

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