Bad Driver Jokes

Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes?


Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af


Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car

But when I drive, my sat nav doesn't speak, it prays in Latin.

But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.

So Jacob got in a bad wreck. His car was totaled. The other car was totaled. He stepped out of his car and went to check on the other driver. He was fine.

Jacob said, "this is a miracle. Look at how bad our cars are and we are totally unscathed. Even still. I have this bottle of wine in my ba... read more

Because it had a bad driver!

*drops mic*

Because every time I'm in the car with Daddy, all he ever says is "Jesus Christ learn how to drive you freaking moron"

our neighbors walk in the middle of the road to avoid getting hit by her car.

She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors.

She’s dead

I thought, that’s a bit racist...

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "**David, be careful!** I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"

David says, "I know, but there isn't just one, **there are hundred... read more

you see more middle fingers than a manicurist.

The woman luckily suffered no major injuries and so rushed to the man's vehicle before opening his car door and sitting in the passenger seat.

'Are you alright sir?' the woman asked. 'I'm incredibly sorry.'

'I'm fine, honey, thanks,' he replied. The woman was relieved, but the man stil... read more

* Spend the first year re-learning how to perform basic tasks
* Spend the rest of your lifetime claiming how much better it is
* Bad drivers

Source: @ chromakode on Twitter

It turns out I had a bad driver.

I just came up with this tonight but I can totally see the joke having been come up with before, so if it has please let me know.

\- All aliens are notoriously bad drivers.

\- Hey, that's space-ist.

A middle aged man sits inside and eats his dinner.

The first rider went to the man and burned out his cigarette on his plate.

The second rider spitted into his milk.

Finally, the third rider dropped his lunch on the floor and stepped on it.


Without saying a word, the ... read more

by two hard-working first generation Korean parents,

I still struggle with insecurities, some of which are

worsened by deeply ingrained Asian stereotypes from my past.

Just the other week, my Caucasian friend Jessie and I hit the links

and I tee off 250 yards straight dow... read more

bad drivers.