UPJOKE

Bad Decision Jokes

Have you listened to Beethoven's song about bad decisions?

It's so not a good idea

Elon Musk has been making bad decisions since getting his hairplugs

He needs toupee

My dad always said to me, “If you ever meet a girl with a terrible tattoo, try to marry her.”

“She makes bad decisions, but sticks with it.”

TIFU - I made a bad decision and now I can't get my laptop fixed.

FYI This is a story from last year, not today.

So I had a laptop that was playing up. The screen kept going all janky. One day there was a popping noise and a smell of burning plastic, so I thought that was enough and I contacted the service department.

I found out they had an office...

My wife said I make bad decisions when I'm drunk.

"Not half as bad as the ones I make when I'm sober," I replied, pointing to my ring finger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do gays make bad decisions?

Because they're never thinking straight.

This past year has been a sad one. It would have been my Mother's 60th Birthday, which we would have celebrated with the whole family. But thanks to drugs, alcohol, and a whole lot of bad decisions...

We all forgot to show up.

In the future, whenever they try to give examples of what can go wrong due to bad decisions, they will point to this year...

Coz hindsight is 2020.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's one thing that always sticks up for you when you make bad decisions.

A boner.

Thank you very much.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe is talking to his friend Danny...

He goes, "You gotta help me man, I want to stop making bad decisions. It started with drugs, alcohol, and now I can't even stop myself from buying shit off Amazon that I don't need!"


Danny says,"I have a simple trick. Everytime I'm about to make a big spending decision, I have a wank.If I...

Not to brag or anything

but I don’t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

People are quick to judge crowds at bars after reopening..

It’s a bar, by definition that’s where people go to make bad decisions.

I only go for women that smoke.

Because I know they’re prepared to make bad decisions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Asexual reproduction is reproduction with only one party

And lots of alcohol and bad decisions

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite jokes.

1.
A hippie walks into a bus and sees a very sexy nun. He walks up to her and says, "Hey there, wanna have sex?" The nun is grossed out and walks out of the bus. As the hippie is about to leave the bus driver calls him over an tells him, "Dude i saw you hitting on the nun. Well just to let you kn...

At this point in my life...

At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer.

Did you hear about the woman who blew all her money on powerball tickets?

She made a lotto bad decisions....

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