UPJOKE

Bad Boys Jokes

Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys

Well not to brag or anything but
I'm bad at everything

I always looks for a chick who is into bad boys.

Because I'm pretty much bad at everything.

Girls like bad boys, so why can't I get a girlfriend?

I'm bad at literally everything. (If you came here expecting a joke, I'm sorry, the joke is my life)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The good husband

Sheryl Sandberg: My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny raises his hand in class...

"Hey Teach, can I go to the bathroom, I gotta take a piss right bad!"
The teacher at the end of her rope dealing with his antics all day screamed at him, "URINATE JOHNNY !! URINATE !!"
Johnny without missing a beat replied, "Thanks teach, I always thought of myself as a solid 7 but apparent...

Phil Swift has a new product

He puts on a pair of boots and says, " I present to you the FlexBoots! Now this product may seem like ordinary boots, but with these bad boys you can run up walls, on the ceiling!" He goes on to demonstrate them by walking on random surfaces. "To show you the power FlexBoots", the camera slowly zoo...

My wife saw a French cookery program on TV...

...so she sent me out at lunchtime to buy some snails. I got the bus into town, found a deli, and bought a bag of snails.

As I was walking back to the bus-stop, I bumped into one of my mates. "Kinygos, how's it going? I was just talking with the boys about you. Hey, they're still at the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Making yachts during the coronavirus lockdown

I have a friend named Pete who makes yachts for a living. Pete was quite worried about the virus as he thought not many people would be in the market for one of his nice boats. His yachts are big, sturdy, and beautiful, but primarily they're designed for big groups of people. Who's going to want to ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.