UPJOKE

Back Hurt Jokes

A guy walks into a pharmacy: "I have extreme headaches, my belly cramps, I feel like I'm about to vomit and my back hurts like something tears the muscles apart. Do you have something?"

Pharmacists: Nope, I feel fine!

I went to the doctor and said: My back hurts in three places...

He said: Don’t go to those places

I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.

It's spine

I told my doctor that my back hurts when I wake up in the morning.

He told me to try waking up in the afternoon instead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A night out with 1$ [NSFW ?]

Two men only have a dollar for their night out and they want to get wasted.

So they go into a night shop and buy a sausage. The first bar they go in they order 2 beers each.

When they decide to leave, one takes out the sausage and places it between his legs. The other bends over and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My nephew and I were walking in the park...

My nephew and I were walking in the park when we saw two dogs locked in coitus. My nephew asked, "Uncle Mac, what are those dogs doing?" Thinking fast, I said, "The one in back hurt its paw and the one in front is helping it walk." My nephew then said, "That's just like some people. They say they'r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny saw two dogs having sex in the park...

... so he asks his mother what's going on.

The mom isn't ready to have "that talk" yet, so she makes up a story. "Well, Johnny," she says, "the doggie in the back hurt its front paws, so the one in the front is helping him get home."

Johnny thinks about that for a moment and then says...

A Corpulent Woman visits the Doctor

Woman: Hey Doc, everytime I walk up the stairs my back hurts and my heart beats like crazy.

Doc: I imagined something like that right when you walked in here. You're morbidly obese.

Woman: That's outrageous. I want a second opinion!

Doc: Alrigt, you're also pretty ugly.

Three brothers want to do something great for their mother's birthday

All three men are wealthy as two of them are doctors and one is a lawyer.

The eldest son proclaimed that he'd buy a big new house for their mother to live in and did so.

The middle son proclaimed that he'd buy an expensive and fast new car for their mother and did so.

Then the y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is experiencing back problems..

..and his back problems are starting to affect his ability to breathe and speak normally. He schedules an appointment with his doctor to assess and fix the problem. The man arrives to his appointment and says "Doc.. I.. c-c-can't talk.. c-c.. can't breathe.. back hurts.. help!" So, the doctor doe...

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