UPJOKE

At Least I'm Not Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Satan arrives to welcome a new damned soul to hell.

"Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!"

"Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not a adult living in my father's basement."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Timmy comes home from school to find his parents in the middle of a fight.

Timmy's parents keep him pretty sheltered, and they don't normally fight in front of him, so he stops to see what is going on. The argument is pretty heated and at this point has devolved to plain old shouting insults at one another.

His mother yells at his father "At least I don't have hair...

(Stolen but golden) Stevie Wonder is in the recording studio at the end of a long hard day.

He's chewing the fat with a few of the technicians.

One of them asks:

“It must be hard being blind Stevie.”

To which Stevie replies:

“Yep, it's hard but at least I'm not black.”

How did Stevie Wonder respond when asked how he coped with being blind?

At least I'm not black.

A pilot walks into a bar..

The bartender says "before you tell me, I'm going to guess you're a pilot."

The pilot is amazed. "How do you know?"

The bartender replies "you're wearing your uniform, and you were in here last week telling everyone that you're a pilot."

The pilot replies. "At least I'm not a v...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man is waiting for his doctor

...the doctor enters the room and says, "I have bad news and worse news." The man says, "I'm not afraid at all tell me the worse news first." So the doctor takes a moment and then says, "You have cancer, and you'er going to die." "Shit! Whats the bad news" the man responds. "Well you also have a bad...

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