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Aspirins Jokes

Buying aspirin

Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hour later Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms.

"I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms."

"Yeah, I went to a dozen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An husband comes home to his wife of 20 years

Husband: Darling, I’m home and I brought you some aspirins.

Wife: But I don’t have a headache.

Husband: Then let’s fuck.

It's my cake day, so I wanna share my favorite joke :-)

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to ...

2 Aspirins Does The Trick...

Bob comes home drunk, get's 2 aspirins and shoves it in his wife's mouth whilst she's asleep.

She wakes up startled and says: "What the hell are doing Bob?"

Bob than says: "I placed 2 aspirins in your mouth!"

Wife: "Are you on drugs?? I do not have a headache!!!"

Bob: "...

Doctor joke number 2

Patient) Doctor i was feeling awful and i had decided to commit suicide by taking 1000 aspirins.

Doctor) Really and what happened?

Patient) After the first 3 i felt a lot better.

A man was having trouble getting his wife to make love to him anymore

So one night just before bedtime, he offered her a glass of water and two aspirins.

“What are you giving me these for?”, asked the wife. “I don’t have a headache.”

“Great!” said the man. “Let’s get started.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The hangover

A guy wakes up with a horrible hangover after a bender. Can barely open his eyes. Head pounding. Stomach churning.

He looks around, and with some relief realizes that he’s at home, in his bed. There’s a glass of water and two aspirins on his night stand, along with a note from his wife: “Dar...

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