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Army Ranger Jokes

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An Army Ranger, a Recon Marine, a Navy SEAL, and a member of Delta Force are sitting around a camp fire.

An Army Ranger, a Recon Marine, a Navy SEAL, and a member of Delta Force are sitting around a camp fire. The Army Ranger, bragging about his exploits says "You guys aren't so tough, I once parachuted down, marched fifty miles, and killed everyone in sight." The Recon Marine is unimpressed, and says,...

A Navy SEAL, an Army Ranger and a Delta Operator walk into a bar...

...the Delta Operator orders a shot of whisky, the Army Ranger has a beer, and the Navy SEAL writes a book about it.

An army ranger looks to a marine and asks if he wants to here a joke about how dumb Marines are

The marine replies "the guy sitting next to me is a marine and so is the guy sitting next him, are you sure you want to tell that joke"

The ranger thinks then says "nah I don't want to explain it three times"

So an Army Ranger wants himself a pair of Gator Boots...

But this being an Army Ranger, he's not just going to *buy* himself a pair of boots, no, he's gonna make his own. So he heads down to Louisiana and makes his way to the bayou. He finds a nice little bait shop, buys himself a nice knife, and asks the shop owner where he can find himself a decent size...

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So a Army Ranger, Recon Marine, Seal, and a Delta Operator are sitting around a campfire.

So the Ranger being a Ranger starts bragging about how tough he is... “you think you guys are tough?” he says

“I’ve parachuted behind enemy lines, did a 50 mile night march and killed a dozen terrorist with my bare hands.”

The Recon Marine is like “man that ain’t shit”

“I’ve lan...

An Army Ranger was on vacation...

...in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go...

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Two Army Rangers are on vacation in New Orleans....

when they both get the idea to catch an alligator, skin it and get shoes made out of its carcass.

They go to an outfitter to get a boat and all the gear they’ll need, and during the conversation they mention they are army. The outfitter tells them that two Marines with the exact same idea pas...

An Army Ranger goes on a vacation...

Got this in a thread somewhere about the branches of the US military.

An Army Ranger goes to Australia for his vacation. He goes to a souvenir shop to get souvenirs, and wanted to get a crocodile skin shoe. The shopkeeper looks at him and tells him that he doesn't sell them. Frustrated, the R...

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A marine, army ranger and navy seal are all on a plane.

The pilot radios in that the plane is experiencing uncharted turbulence. He advises the men to gather their survival gear and prepare for a crash landing. All three servicemen look at each other and decide jumping from the plane would be a better option than going down with it. They all parachute ou...

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How do you know if a lightbulb is a prostitute?

Its been screwed in and out by teams of scientists, skateboarders, narcissists, every one of the human races, Vietnam vets, Grateful Dead fans, computer scientists, Army Rangers, stoners, Yankee fans, dead babies, roaming hippies, alchoholics, cops, Comcast employees, Jedis, Dragonball-Z characters,...

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R/jokes

Three Veterans were gathered around a campfire during a vacation after their tours ended. They tried to regale each other with tales of valor. Each attempted to outdo the other.

The Army Ranger talked of his many kills in Afghanistan and how he once picked off a Taliban sniper at 1000 mete...

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The DOD was putting together a new special forces unit...

In response to rising global tensions the Department of Defense decided a new, elite top secret unit was needed. Recruits were assembled from the special forces units of all branches.

A panel of generals, high level intelligence officers and congressmen is formed to begin interviews. The firs...

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Jump School (NSFW)

I was talking to my marine friend about his training and he tells me this story about going to jump school, (learning to jump out of planes).

"So we climb in the plane with all out gear on and it takes off. This is our first actual jump after a few simulations and dry runs. Everyone is nerv...

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