UPJOKE

Are You A Jokes

Hey girl, are you a newspaper?

Because there’s a new issue with you every single day

Damn girl are you a piñata?

Because imma need a blindfold before I hit that

Damn babe are you a Minneapolis police officer?

'Cos you're breathtaking..

Damn girl, are you a piñata?

Because I'm going to need a blindfold to hit that

Hey baby, are you a GPU?

Cause I wanna make you mine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube?

Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit.

Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?

Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.

Hey girl, are you a broken compass?

Because I’m not really sure where I’m going with this

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are you a cigarette ?

Because you’re smoking hot and I want to put your butt in my mouth.

Damn girl are you a smoke detector?

Because you're super annoying and won't shut up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you a parked car?

Because I would have to be drunk as fuck to hit that

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey baby are you a Communist?

Because i can feel an uprising in my lower class.

Damn boy, are you a bra?

Because you make me uncomfortable but society has brainwashed me into thinking I need you.

Damn girl, are you a toaster?

Because a bath with you would send me to heaven.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you a math book?

Because you have a lot of fucking problems I don't want to deal with.

Are you a coconut?

Because I want to smash you until all that white stuff comes out

Hey girl are you a school?

Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Hey girl, are you a parked car in July?

Because I want to leave a baby in you.

Are You a Gorilla Exhibit?

Because I want to drop a baby in you.

Damn girl are you a windows update?

'Cause I'll do you later

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are you a VIRGIN?

Joe had a blind date with Maria for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her.

After some really passionate embracing, he said: "Tell me, do you object to making love?"

"That is something I have never done before," Maria replied.

...

“Hey, bug on my back,” asked a fly. “Are you a mite?”

“I mite be,” giggled the mite.

The fly groaned. “That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard!”

“Well, what did you expect?” said the mite. “I came up with it on the fly.”

Hey, girl. Are you a fire alarm

Because you're annoying and wont shut up

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the da...

At the Olympics I saw an athletic guy carrying a long stick and asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"

He looked surprised and said, "No, I am a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A job I was interviewing at I was asked, “are you a registered sex offender?”

I told them offendedly and sternly, “no I’m not registered!”

[OC] Hey girl, are you a keyboard?

Because you're something I might just smash out of frustration.

Girl, are you a Windows update?

Because not now.

Are you a hoagie person?

Because you're subhuman.

A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"

"I'm an undercover detective."

"Then why are you in uniform?"

"Today is my day off."

Girl, are you a microwave?

Because mmmmmmmmmmmmm

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you a redditor?

Cause you just keep repeating the same shit

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying

My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?”

I replied “Don’t you start too”

Hey girl, are you a Chinese immigrant from the 1800s?

Because I want to make you mine.

Are you a car muffler?

Because you are exhausting!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Christian husband asks his wife, on their first night together, "Are you a virgin?"

Wife replies : Yes but only on the backside and you?

Husband : Me too but only on the front.

Ayy girl, are you a gas station?

Because your prices went up significantly within the last few months

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girl, are you a popsicle?

'Cause you're cold as fuck and you act like you have a stick up your ass.

Just saw a guy running down the road with a cape on, so I shouted, "Hey! Are you a superhero!?"

He yelled back, "Nah, I didn't pay for my haircut!"

Hey girl, are you a toaster?

Cuz I wanna turn you on and put you in my bath.

Are you a vulture?

Because I can't carrion loving you like this.

Are you a question?

Because I'd like to ask you out.

Are you a tide pod?

Because you’re lookin’ like a snack but you’re really just toxic to everyone.

Hey girl are you a cave in Thailand?

Cause I wanna leave some kids inside you

A girl asked me are you a simp?

I said no my father was a simp, me and my brothers are actually Simpsons

Damn girl, are you a haunted house?

Because I'm scared to come inside you.

Girl are you a gas station bathroom?

Cause I can’t wait to shoot up in you

Hey girl are you a Thai cave?

Cuz I want to put 12 kids in you

A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?" "Not even a little," said the young man. "How about alcoholic beverages?" "Never touch 'em," he replied.

The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?"
The applicant said, "No, not really."
"So you don't have any vices?"
"Well, I do have one," he admitted.
"And what would that be?" the boss asked.
"I tell lies."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you eat pussy, are you a meat eater?

Nope, still a vagetarian!

Hey girl, are you a Java compiler?

Because when I proposed a Date, you said I wasn't your type.

Baby, are you a pool?

Because damn you're so shallow!

Hey girl, are you a gorilla enclosure?

Because i'd put a baby in you

Hey girl, are you a computer?

Because you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.

Girl are you a princess?

Because you look like you died in a car crash.

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