Appartment Jokes

After a night of drinking a man shows off his new appartment to his friends. In the bedroom they spot a giant gong. What's that gong for? They ask. That's not a gong he says, that's a talking clock. Yeah right, the friends say, show us how it works then. So the man smashes it as hard as he can and t... read more

After a few minutes Petrus comes, wearing his cozy pyjamas, saying: "Guys its late, i need to get some rest, we are closed for today."
"Ehm Petrus", one man replied, "we are kinda dead so please open the door."
Petrus sighs. "Ok, each one of you tells me the story of his death, and if ... read more

Which is a bit awkward, because I live in appartment 57.

Bartender tells him, "Years ago a I had a stutter just like yours, but my wife cured me during a marathon day of constant sex. After hours and hours, I was so exhausted, could hardly breathe and finally passed out. When I woke up, the stutter was gone!"

Couple days later, the same guy came ... read more

A man just moved in to his new appartment and goes down to the hallway to collect his mail. When he is on the way back a young woman in a bathrobe steps out of the appartment next to the elevator. They start talking and suddenly her bathrobe opens slightly and he can see she is wearing nothing under... read more

God goes to Saint Peter and says "Pete there are too many people in heaven. I never expected this, so we need to add a new rule. The rule is that in order to get in you need to have had a really bad day the day you died. Got it?"
"Yes Sir" Peter replied.
With that God left and Peter called the... read more